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sugarcataleya chat
Date: April 20, 2023
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I completely agree with your partner and have the same unspoken rule with my girlfriend. Neither of us has given the other reasons to suspect anything and both of us respect that healthy, in my opinion, boundary of not being allowed unlimited access to each other's phones.
So much so, that if I was to catch her going through my phone then that would be an immediate break-up from my side.
Privacy absolutely has value, not just yours but others' as well. Other people that have shared messages to your boyfriend and so on. I know colleagues that have the work instant messenger Slack installed on their phones as well, so if someone was to access their phone then they would be breaching work privacy too.
Two, you were piss drunk and therefore unable to give consent in the first place. So even if you weren't drugged, consent couldn't have been given.
I strongly disagree with this. The alcohol consumption isn't the issue here, the being drugged is. If she wasn't drugged then she would have been in the state of mind to control her actions and never would have been in this situation in the first place. Just being drunk doesn't absolve you of responsibility when it comes to cheating.
Stop thinking about it that you cheated on him.
This is absolutely correct. OP, you were drugged and sexually assaulted. I've never taken Xanax, but I have been around people who were blacked out on it. They were completely erratic, not in their right mind at all. It's impossible to give consent after being forced into that state of mind.
The only advice I have when it comes to your bf is maybe show him some stories from other women who were drugged and assaulted. Maybe if he sees it from a more emotionally detached perspective it will help him realize that he is so caught up in his own emotions that he is neglecting his gf who needs, and deserves, his support now more than ever. If he is a decent guy, he will beg you for forgiveness. If he doesn't, then he is showing you he is an asshole who will never put aside his own ego, even if it means neglecting and victim blaming you.