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oil show [200 tokens remaining]
Date: October 4, 2022
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PussyCharms
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200_FREE_TOKEN_SPRING_SURPRISE
Take the lead, initiate or flirt, be suggestive. I have been through this with my wife, our sex drives are way apart. It is one week per month, spend time together, do stuff together. Go on dates, dress up nice..wear nice lingerie. Anything that works.
he does find me nude to read as a person
This is a sorry excuse. You've told him exactly what you need and he ignores it. In fact, he takes what you say and responds in the opposite way, treating it as a come-on rather than a very clear indication to slow down. It's not that he doesn't understand, he's choosing to play dumb to get what he wants.
I mean, think about it. Is he this incompetent in any other arena? Can he hold down a job? If so, he understands simple instructions, he just doesn't respect when you say no.
You want to tell the wife so she leaves him and you can have him. Please. You don’t care about that woman’s feelings. You willingly had an affair with a married man and NOW you don’t want to hurt her? Shameful. Leave her the hell alone
“I cannot marry you; you are not available.”
That is such a hot to read sub. So deplorable to see all the “pity-me” perspectives in there. The ones showing true remorse, I'm proud of them, but 9/10 of those posts carry a sentiment (I even saw this phrase written three times in my hour long browse) of “this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me”.
You're an addict in recovery yourself and while this gives you insight it also makes you vulnerable. I'm not saying necessarily vulnerable to using again but definitely vulnerable to the effects of the co-dependent relationships addicts have with the people around them. You're right about your wife's son and right about their relationship but you can't control that. I'm so sorry you're going through this but I honestly think that, for now at least, you need to get away, for your own sake but also for them. If your presence and your support for them enables his addiction and her denial then you have the insight to know that's not good. Aw fella, I am sorry.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
What they meant when they said it was for your own good was that they wanted you to start behaving.
You are allowed to feel however you need to feel right now. James should be ashamed of himself for how he's treated you. I suspect this isn't the first time he's shouted at you for something, but you should make sure it's the last time that he has the chance to.
You are too vulnerable right now for this meeting to take place without your BF at the table. Do you want to meet, or are you going because James wants to?
James has let you down repeatedly. If your mother has been like this your whole life, then that would explain why you've accepted this treatment from him. You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy of soft love. You are worthy of compassion, especially from yourself.
3 months is such a short time to have grieved. It's okay for it to take as long as it takes honey. None of these people truly had your best interests at heart.
It might feel like this pain will break you. It might feel too big, but honey, you will survive this. You will survive this betrayal. You will survive the rift your mother has caused. You will survive the break up with James. You are strong enough. You do not need to forgive and forget. You are allowed to be mad. You should be mad. What they've done is unforgivable.
Let your love for Hayley push you forward. Get the therapy you deserve. Heal the wounds you are carrying from James and your mother. Become the version of you who honours her needs and demands to be treated with respect. A good therapist can help you.
I hope you are able to get the dress back. I'm sending you the biggest hug.