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Christine, 20 y.o.
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Date: November 3, 2022
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Yeah exactly. Idiotic guys who be sticking it in when it's so obvious that it's not wet enough. Like recently a week ago or so, the fool I've been seeing kept trying to stick it in when it was dry, somehow he succeeded and it hurt and I'm the morning I had blood dripping down my legs which was crazy. I told him he broke my vagina. I think he got scared or something in a good way because now he is starting to make sure it's wet enough before trying to put it in.
This was my concern
She telling you that she will file false abuse charges against you if she gets angry or even just feels like it.
Even if the cops see straight through it, they will probably arrest you just to say that they did something. Even if nothing further happens, this will give you a police record. Anytime you get pulled over for speeding or not using a turn signal, the police will see that you have been arrested for domestic violence.
You already got your stuff. Cut off all contact and move on.
The question that you really need to ask yourself is how you didn't see this coming after being with her for 6 years. People who are shitty to their partners are usually shitty to others (people in a social out-group, people who are socially or economically below them, etc.) well before. Are you not filtering based on how potential partners treat other people?
While your insecurity is valid, he is also right that a sauna isn’t sexual at all (you would get booted pretty quick if you started fooling around) and all the girls are with their significant others. Logically, I don’t think there’s much of a risk of your boyfriend being unfaithful here, unless you’ve had previous experiences that would lead you to not trust him.
All that being said…I get it and would probably feel the same if my girlfriend was doing the same thing.
Well, I might as well do that. What is the point I am wasting another 3-4 years waiting for a guy who is not sure about me?
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s truth.
She didn’t slip up from drinking, it had been brewing. Likely more happened than the kiss, you just didn’t stick around to hear it. I don’t blame you.
Just a kiss would be a dealbreaker for me and any sane person with good character. If others have a different line that’s ok for them, but my line is mine and they have no authority to try to influence it.
Some people forgive affairs, some people raise multiple affair babies, some people think so long as they have a roof over their head they don’t care where their partner gets their jollies. That’s not me, that’s not you, but it’s some people. It’s not on me to influence them unless they want me to continually support their willful ignorance. Even then, I’d not try to actively influence their relationship. The only relationship for me to assess art that point is the one between me and the person, not between them and their partner.
If anyone in your life that’s worth a damn can say to you point blank OP, I didn’t want to mention this earlier as you’ve clearly been completely emotionally devastated for months, but….I think you pulled the pin on your relationship for no real good reason they’re not actually worth a damn. Like, you cannot logically acknowledge my pain in one breath and then disregard it completely in the next. At the end of the day, your emotional distress should be enough validation that you left the relationship for good cause. Anyone that doesn’t see that or disrespects it is not acting in your best interests.
It sounds to me like this relationship has run its course. You both are in different stages in life. You're 10 years apart you were a child when he moved you in. You need to experience life outside of him and enjoy being young if you don't I think you'll regret it.
I know this sub has a reputation as a “break up/get divorced” advice sub, but in this case, it's incredibly obvious this woman needs to safely extricate herself from this situation and divorce this man, ideally never seeing him or speaking to him again.
Otherwise she will end up like my former employee, whose husband had a serious road rage issue and he completely flew off the handle during an argument about it, in the car, because he didn't like how scared she was acting, and he meant to “actually” scare her by pretending like he was going to wreck the car. But roads are unpredictable and he actually lost control of the car. He was completely fine. She's had dozens and dozens of surgeries now and lost one of her legs. She lives in constant agonizing pain.
Thank you for your comment 🙂