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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Date: October 18, 2022
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My guess your wife pushed more for open then you. Honestly she had been cheating on you anyway so this made it legit. Always assume in an open marriage the other spouse has unprotected sex to be safe with your health. Sounds like your wife likes your paycheck and the stability you bring but doesn’t feel fulfilled sexually by you.. get out now while still Young and no kids. Your marriage is over
Absolutely not okay, OP. It sounds like he love-bombed you and is now showing that controlling, manipulative, gross side.
You don't have to cook shit for him. His graduation doesn't mean you owe him crap, and your feelings are valid. He doesn't get to shut you down just because he's too emotionally constipated to have an adult discussion- you matter, too, OP. You don't have to accept this behaviour, and it won't get better. As he's shown, he's getting worse, and his refusal to discuss things means he's not at all open to trying to fix this. You can't make him respect you, unfortunately.
Do the pros outweigh the enormous amount of cons?
She sounds like a crap person, you should be angry not confused.
Maybe she’s gone off the rails and is on an emotional roller coaster herself and this is out of character for her.
Either way you gotta look at what you want and how you feel and clearly express that. If she tries to guilt trip you into silence or rip you a new one she is being manipulative, stand by your perspective, don’t let her one overpower yours, you are allowed to have a different point of view.
She doesn’t want YOU to have someone else, it’s gotta be HER.
I would be pulling the brakes on this before you go any further to prevent a train wreck
Move on from this person. Her circumstances are tough, but you have to protect yourself before anyone else.
If she reaches out, a simple direct response is best. “Hello, Jane. I am glad to hear you are in a much more stable situation. When our friendship ended a few months back, it took me some time to heal the emotional wounds from it. While I'm happy you are doing well, I am uncomfortable restarting a friendship, as I'm afraid it will reopen those emotional wounds, and therefore I'd like to leave our friendship in the past. I'm glad things are going better for you, and I wish you the best.”
Why did you not talk to her about it before anything happened rather than after?