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  1. Yeah, OPs wife isn't ready to be in a serious relationship. She has way too much to work on within herself. Besides, never go to therapy with someone who is or potentially is abusive. It's just giving them ammunition against their victim. Most couples counselors aren't trained in recognizing emotional abuse.

  2. Is it inflicting pain or is it the mental leap between inflicting pain and having a larger Penis? If it's the latter it can be a very easy fantasy to fulfil, if you sometimes wanted to squirm and sigh and go “wait a minute” etc and exaggerate it a bit when you do have anal sex. Like he could be interpreting noises that sound uncomfortable as a sign of well endowment. But if it's just inflicting pain for pains sake then yeah no thats just shitty

  3. I asked for counseling years ago because we did not communicate well. We misunderstood each other frequently & it resulted in minor arguments. I feel like he finally agreed to counseling this year because he knows I am at the end of my rope & that u may actually leave. He mentioned divorce first. We were fighting a year ago & he said 'it makes me think we should divorce', which honestly crushed me. He defends it now saying he was only saying he thinks maybe not that we actually should.

  4. In the end we are both assuming. Neither of us know her mind.

    You believe she had noble intentions and I believe the opposite.

    Her moving away would not have caused any drama at all. People transfer all the time. Nobody cares. He is not her boss. She didnt need to explain anything to him.

    And i also disagree on the “She handled it correctly” part. The correct thing would be to never be in this position in the first place. Am not saying you are wrong but i personally believe she already has crossed the line when she confessed to him.

  5. Sure you need to tell the ex beforehand, but you are not responsible for her feelings. I have seen pregnant women all over recently. Does every pregnant woman need to apologize? Your ex cannot have kids. Blame god. Blame her genetics. But the blame is not on you. You do not need to buy her out unless she suggest it. You do not need to sell your interest. It sounds like you and the ex are on good terms. If your ex wants to experience motherhood that is her prerogative. It sounds like you and the ex have the means. If that is something she wants, then she has the opportunity. The age difference is being inflated. As long as your new partner does not care, then no one else should.

  6. I will say what I can based on my own personal experiences with an ex gf that sounds extremely similar to your bf.

    One, he is insecure and projecting those insecurities onto you because he is too immature or too narcissistic to change his mentality. Or both.

    Two, he is gaslighting you so he can manipulate you either consciously or unconsciously it doesn’t matter because that’s what he is doing.

    Three, we don’t have enough information, but I would be highly suspicious that he is in fact cheating on you. This is what cheaters do when they feel guilt, instead of admitting or coming clean with it, their narcissism and ego will not allow them to admit they’re wrong. So they project it onto you.

    Knowing this, if you still feel it’s worth salvaging then here is the final test. You sit down with them face to face and state your concerns. If your concerns are dismissed, if they laugh or smirk, if they get angry and blame you instead of just listening like an adult. Well you know what you have to do. I hope you escape this, I’ve been there too and was miserable. Good luck to you and all the best for the future.

  7. He’s awful. And the way he treats Rachel like he owns her because he’s been obsessed with her since she was in high school is so gross.

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