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cyanna, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 27, 2022
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So, one workaround that I’ve discovered for myself is to watch cartoon porn of rough/painful acts. I get turned on by gangbangs, but I can’t watch videos of actual people because I am constantly scanning for any indication of actual pain/psychic pain, which is OF COURSE an instant turn-off. I Can scratch that weird itch for depictions of rough sex while being absolutely certain that nobody is really being hurt. Maybe ask him to try this? There’s PLENTY of cartoon “painal” out there, probably for this exact reason.
That's my boo though. Has to be something we can do. I guess I'm just looking forward to the day we move in together. But in the meantime ??
What would you do after knowing? Now be paranoid whenever your wife doesn't answer her phone for a couple hours or goes out with coworkers.? Like what healthy boundaries could come from this?
Imo agreed that nothing good can come from this and OP just learned how close her marriage is to being done and to either work on it or try something else.
Who cares if it goes smoothly? What happens when you have to dig a hole for a puppy your boyfriend beat to death?
First off I'm not excusing his behavior.
However, he is grieving. It is coming out in all sorts of unhealthy ways. If he is refusing therapy then your relationship may not survive this. There is a reason why many couples don't survive the loss of a child.
Quite honestly get some distance for a while. Stay somewhere else, or have him do so. Let time do its thing.
I know man but something I've learned is that you can't put yourself in a shit hole you can't deal with. Besides once she is out you will resent her and she won't understand why, then she'll dump you even tho you put up with her shit (maybe I am projecting)
Oh give me a break. Nerd