Man, I don’t know the way these younger guys are playing it. My husband waited until he knew he could pay every bill and support himself and a family BEFORE he ventured into marriage and children. I’ve worked when my son’s schedule allowed it, and would stop when it didn’t. We never needed my money. It was always extra and used on my son’s extracurricular activities. Men didn’t used to resent being loving providers. It makes my husband feel good, not resentful. This is all just sad to me.
She is not actively seeking treatment but that's because we've done that before and the medications she's been put on just turned her into a zombie in some cases, made her mental state worse in others, or did pretty much nothing in some. Talk therapy has resulted in her being told to do CBT but she says she's tried that before and it doesn't work. You're absolutely right, she treats this stuff as a crutch so she can depend on me entirely. This has been a constant issue our whole relationship which is why I'm now wondering about leaving; I've talked to her about the stress I'm under many times, she always promises to do more, then does for a little while, even applies for some jobs sometimes, but it always fades and goes back to the status quo after awhile.
I thought me saying “I” would be me taking accountability for the fact this is all my fault. An entire post about how incredible she is wouldn’t show that I’ve made any attempt to not be that guy anymore.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
You would be surprised at how often this question gets asked. Internet mom here. You aren’t wrong. You will miss out if you never date anyone but her. 20s are a time for figuring out who you are and what you want. You decided that as a child. You describe your relationship as going pretty well. Not an outstanding review. If you’re asking for permission, I am absolutely granting it. It doesn’t make you a terrible person. I think that you will regret it if you don’t spread your wings and eventually that will end your relationship but you’ll be 32. You can definitely still live the life in your 30s but it’s built around your career and other responsibilities. That’s when people are looking to settle down. I’ll end with this. I think it’s smart to figure out who you are in your 20s and I don’t know how you do that if you have already planned out the rest of your life with another person.
He’s not serious about you if he hasn’t introduced you to anyone after a year. Stop wasting your time and hoping. It’s time to move on.
Man, I don’t know the way these younger guys are playing it. My husband waited until he knew he could pay every bill and support himself and a family BEFORE he ventured into marriage and children. I’ve worked when my son’s schedule allowed it, and would stop when it didn’t. We never needed my money. It was always extra and used on my son’s extracurricular activities. Men didn’t used to resent being loving providers. It makes my husband feel good, not resentful. This is all just sad to me.
She is not actively seeking treatment but that's because we've done that before and the medications she's been put on just turned her into a zombie in some cases, made her mental state worse in others, or did pretty much nothing in some. Talk therapy has resulted in her being told to do CBT but she says she's tried that before and it doesn't work. You're absolutely right, she treats this stuff as a crutch so she can depend on me entirely. This has been a constant issue our whole relationship which is why I'm now wondering about leaving; I've talked to her about the stress I'm under many times, she always promises to do more, then does for a little while, even applies for some jobs sometimes, but it always fades and goes back to the status quo after awhile.
I thought me saying “I” would be me taking accountability for the fact this is all my fault. An entire post about how incredible she is wouldn’t show that I’ve made any attempt to not be that guy anymore.
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Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
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he fucked around and, to no one’s surprise, he found out.
Chumplady.com
if he won’t tLk about it, something fishy. i said go on an break to figure it out and talk to the girls
You would be surprised at how often this question gets asked. Internet mom here. You aren’t wrong. You will miss out if you never date anyone but her. 20s are a time for figuring out who you are and what you want. You decided that as a child. You describe your relationship as going pretty well. Not an outstanding review. If you’re asking for permission, I am absolutely granting it. It doesn’t make you a terrible person. I think that you will regret it if you don’t spread your wings and eventually that will end your relationship but you’ll be 32. You can definitely still live the life in your 30s but it’s built around your career and other responsibilities. That’s when people are looking to settle down. I’ll end with this. I think it’s smart to figure out who you are in your 20s and I don’t know how you do that if you have already planned out the rest of your life with another person.
Thank you for this really the explanation and answer I was looking for. Gained new perspective on it