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Darsy, y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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Something along those lines: “I know that you want me close, but you don't have a place in my life. Move on with your life, don't waste your time, and don't waste your love.”
this is so helpful thank you sm
There are a lot of posts about men who dated sex workers and the challenges they faced. I suggest you search for them and learn from their experience especially bc she just started down this road. From what I remember, the intimacy issue gets worse with time bc they see it as a way to make money exclusively.
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She would have to cut ties or I would be out. He is hanging around hoping it happens again and she is clueless.
I can see that. I shower right when I get home because I’m usually kind of sweaty and dirty from work. And we both come from families where you don’t sit down to dinner like that.
That's fair. I know it's not ideal we're making the best of it.
She is not someone you want to commit for life. And that's okay. But stop stringing her along. It's okay if it is not a match. She deserves to find someone compatible. Just like you.
How do you think that someone whose feelings and boundaries are being clearly booted aside and ignored, could not possibly feel jealous? And resentful and insecure.
Those are three different emotions and he's feeling one and a half of them.
So why is jealousy such a tabboo emotion here?
It's not taboo. It's just not accurate. It's not what he's actually feeling.
Whether its jealousy, resentment, insecurities (or some combination of all), the guy feels *ty because he's being treated *tily by both parties. Its MUCH easier for him to direct his resentment towards the issued husband, but the GF is just as much to blame.
He knows that. But the feelings to each are different as well as the way they're treating him is different.
In fact, the GF is almost entirely to blame, because if she really cared about this guy then she wouldn't be treating her husbands behaviour like it was practically a non-issue.
And yet if the husband wasn't snooping the GF wouldn't have anything be wrong about, so that instantly negates the concept of her being 'almost entirely' to blame.
She's part of it, for sure. But this is a three-person relationship and so it's a three-person problem.
Now, when my mother gets upset, she can really blow up and be mean
Just from your post alone you seem to be the type to downplay any verbal abuse she throws at you, so yeah mum does sound like she is acting like a cunt. Does that mean he should call her that? No, but I would try to understand that's out of frustration because of the way she treats you ( which is likely a lot worse than you will admit), because he cares about you and also frustration from the fact he is pretty powerless to change the dynamic clearlY( Because you just take the verbal lashing)
Obviously should not have thrown anything that's just wrong.
You should defo tell to get his anger in check, however I don't think your relationship with your boyfriend is your main issue.
So you mean communicate with her his concerns?!?
See I don’t want that. I’m not expect this knight in shining armor right off the bat. Do I want to be Abel toy build towards this? Yes. This is for a lifetime not for someone to have in order for me to date them. I have these curtain standards for a reason. I didn’t just make this up because I felt like I deserved this…
And where will her partner live?