He's a bit of a health nut himself, eating healthy and gym all the time. I know he likes very skinny girls but he's never put pressure on me to be super skinny or brought up that he wants me to lose any weight until now. We've been together almost 7 months
Yeah you're right. I was enabling big time, because when I said, for instance, “if you get wasted and disappear again, I can't do this anymore”. I didn't follow through. I still took care of him and pitied him. So my ultimatums and boundaries became empty threats because I wouldn't uphold the consequences I'd threaten when it actually came down to it. I know it's putting my sobriety in danger too, just because i dont drink in excess (YET) doesn't mean it's not possible, considering it is with every other substance. And it is very hot earned. Im almost at 3 years clean and jesus. I never thought I'd see the day knowing the position i was in when i first started my recovery journey. I mean, if he was relapsing with a needle and some dope I can't tell you that I would still be sitting here clean and sober with this being the most pressing issue at hand. I know more than well that I can't keep him sober, and I can't force him to go to meetings or anything that helps me if he's still not ready. I also know this is affecting my sobriety and mental health whether i acknowledge it or not, and it's not gonna get any better. I think meeting him with both of us sober and that lasting for about 5 or 6 months planted the “he wants it too, its just a lapse he'll get back on his feet and back to normal” seed in my mind when he did drink again for the first time, but it hasn't really gone like that unfortunately. I can't deal with his character defects they're too hostile and deceitful and hurtful. And of course, he always has the “I don't remember anything” card to play. I'm gonna have to leave for my sake, and hopefully someday he decides he's ready to be sober again for himself and for his sweet daughter
I told her that I do not like very hot drugs and don’t see myself dating someone who does them.
The fact it's a sensitive topic for you due to your family's history and the fact that you told her earlier that it was big no from you, I think it should be clear to you that you should breakup.
I'm anti-hard drugs aswell so if I was in your shoes I would immediately end the reelationship.
I just don’t get why say yes to both the viewing and then the funeral when she couldn’t make the viewing and then make excuses for both.
She is the only person who can explain her actions and choices to you, if you ask her to. Maybe you should put her on the mental list of “good-time friends” and not “actually need support” friends.
Realistically it's a bad idea but I think the majority of people here would do it, including me LMFAO
He's a bit of a health nut himself, eating healthy and gym all the time. I know he likes very skinny girls but he's never put pressure on me to be super skinny or brought up that he wants me to lose any weight until now. We've been together almost 7 months
Yeah you're right. I was enabling big time, because when I said, for instance, “if you get wasted and disappear again, I can't do this anymore”. I didn't follow through. I still took care of him and pitied him. So my ultimatums and boundaries became empty threats because I wouldn't uphold the consequences I'd threaten when it actually came down to it. I know it's putting my sobriety in danger too, just because i dont drink in excess (YET) doesn't mean it's not possible, considering it is with every other substance. And it is very hot earned. Im almost at 3 years clean and jesus. I never thought I'd see the day knowing the position i was in when i first started my recovery journey. I mean, if he was relapsing with a needle and some dope I can't tell you that I would still be sitting here clean and sober with this being the most pressing issue at hand. I know more than well that I can't keep him sober, and I can't force him to go to meetings or anything that helps me if he's still not ready. I also know this is affecting my sobriety and mental health whether i acknowledge it or not, and it's not gonna get any better. I think meeting him with both of us sober and that lasting for about 5 or 6 months planted the “he wants it too, its just a lapse he'll get back on his feet and back to normal” seed in my mind when he did drink again for the first time, but it hasn't really gone like that unfortunately. I can't deal with his character defects they're too hostile and deceitful and hurtful. And of course, he always has the “I don't remember anything” card to play. I'm gonna have to leave for my sake, and hopefully someday he decides he's ready to be sober again for himself and for his sweet daughter
You’re silly, and so are your standards.
I think you do what feels right for you. Your son is watching you. You will always be a hero to your son❣
I told her that I do not like very hot drugs and don’t see myself dating someone who does them.
The fact it's a sensitive topic for you due to your family's history and the fact that you told her earlier that it was big no from you, I think it should be clear to you that you should breakup.
I'm anti-hard drugs aswell so if I was in your shoes I would immediately end the reelationship.
This is a MAJOR CHARACTER FLAW that should cause our very naive OP to take more seriously.
Having crushes is a major character flaw?
Wouldn't think twice about it. I wouldn't ask out an ex's friend. But a friend of someone I had a crush on? That means nothing
Your bf reacted poorly. He wanted to know and as soon as he didnt like it, he switched to “Why did you tell me that”.
You can try to talk about it again when he had time to think about it, but you cant do much else
Just a point. I have meet women that are obese that oozes sex appeal and I have meet ugly women that are the more stylish and attractive I have seen.
The most important thing is to have a good and loving partner.
I just don’t get why say yes to both the viewing and then the funeral when she couldn’t make the viewing and then make excuses for both.
She is the only person who can explain her actions and choices to you, if you ask her to. Maybe you should put her on the mental list of “good-time friends” and not “actually need support” friends.