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Den (in cap) and Max, 24 y.o.
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Den (in cap) and Max
Date: October 5, 2022
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We’ve known each other for longer than we have been in an actual relationship. There was a long break.
And that comment was not exactly how I phrase it, but it’s just simple banter. I don’t expect anything when I buy her stuff
You probably shouldn’t be with a guy that needs 4k from you in the first place. Sounds like a loser
This sounds like it was written by a dude.
She clearly does not meet your standards. And is not the role model you want for your future kids.
There's many people in the world. Most will meet your standards and more. Time to dump her and do the work of finding your life partner.
This isn't how it always will be, but she needs to see her problems, own them & get her ass to therapy. Please stop stigmatizing people wBPD so hot, there are ofc foul eggs out there but I assure you, most of us are working hard on ourselves & seeking out therapy to actually get better.
But if he stays, without making firm boundaries, for the sake of her MH – yes,it will stay the same & he'll stay in the position of a co-dependent enabler.
(Source – in therapy for 13 years & I don't meet the criteria for the diagnosis anymore. Still have it, but barely noticeable)
Obviously you respect her choice, as you said. But also, you have a choice. Namely, it’s up to you whether this is a deal breaker for the relationship. We can’t decide that for you, but I’ll share what’s worked for me.
I grew up with the expectation that I should wait for marriage. My parents did. But after a lot of reflection, I decided that I am so thorough in researching/testing anything before I commit to it, from new jeans to cars to housing. Why would the most important commitment of my life be something I approach with less thoroughness than those things?!
So I decided it was important to me to experience sex before marriage. And I’m glad I did. It helped me discover what I like and need, and what I don’t. It helped me become more independent and assertive. It’s also important to get to know that side of your partner before you commit to them for life. And if you’re the type to get fomo, you can reduce that risk by having sex with a few partners before settling down. You wouldn’t want those doubts to creep in later!
Now that I’m in my mid-thirties, having been with several sexual partners, I’m happily engaged and excited to commit to this man for life. No reservations whatsoever, because I know exactly who he is in many contexts, including in bed. So that’s worked great for me!
You’ll have to find what feels right for you. I hope you’ll take the time to think, talk, journal, etc. about this and figure out what you need. Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with your girlfriend, and any other partners you may have.
It’s also OK if your opinion changes over time. This is a period in your life when you’ll experience a lot and change a lot. Just keep checking in with yourself about it, and keep in mind that there are many ways to be. You just have to do what’s best for you!
You need to learn that some things are just not meant to be and move on. This is a chance to learn one of the most important lessons in life that many people don't understand and end up ruining their lives over.
Stfu you pain in the arse