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Elisa, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 28, 2022
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That's about as cold and final a response as you can get. There's no chance that she'd ever want to date you again.
The “he's not here so I need to take it out on someone” comment is a huge red flag and you should break up with this guy immediately.
It's one thing to be frustrated that someone from your partner's past keeps butting into your lives. That's understandable. It's annoying, but there are better ways to handle it than getting verbally abusive with your own partner for something that is not their fault.
You couldn't have predicted your ex would go out of their way to text you from a different number. You were straightforward and honest with telling your boyfriend what happened – what else would he expect you to do, lie about it? Pretend it didn't happen?
He did overreact. He can express his frustration about the situation in so many better ways than the way he did. But he instead chose to take his anger out on you and be verbally abusive towards you, which will never be acceptable. Especially not when he then claims to be the victim in the situation and demands an apology from you for something that wasn't your fault.
Please, please, leave him. If this is how he reacts when he gets frustrated or angry about something indirectly related to you, he is not safe to be with.
How else do they fix it?
That is completely not what they said. They said if you’re incompatible. Having a spontaneous desire and your partner being responsive is not incompatibility.
Exactly what TattooPuddle said: this flip-flop between loving and caring one minute and then rude and closed off the next is a common emotional manipulation tactic: it can be a form of love-bombing and then stone-walling in order to keep you in a high state of stress/anxiety which the abuser can then exploit. They do this on purpose to take advantage of your confusion and vulnerability.
She's just mad you took away her dogs chew toys. Honestly move out and find someone who loves cats. Cat lovers are much better people than dog nutters
Take a dump at her place and shout “i'veeeee finished!” then hold out the toilet paper.
“well you want me to tie your shoes, its only fair”
Or give her a mop and say “see you at midnight cinders, who's my little princess – hug “
I've always fought absurd demands with absurd responses though.
If this is the only sign in 7 months, i'd only side eye it until more came out
I would not call you crazy for doing it. Now you know everything. That does, however, mean the deceit is over and it’s time for you to go no contact.
Definitely seek out a trauma therapist to help you process and move on.
FYI, am a man.
You take the inches. And the miles in between become less distant. Stay your course, anger is never an option. 🙂
Work should be paying for his hotel so that’s not an excuse. It’s a respect thing and if he’s not going to respect you then maybe he’s not the right fit. I had a boyfriend try to pull this one time and I broke up with him. Best decision ever as he ended up cycling through many women after me.
I was in a really shitty, abusive relationship a while ago. He had two dogs; the Mother and her puppy. I got pregnant by this guy, moved, and the puppy became my son’s dog. He cared more about splitting custody of the dog than our son.
Eventually I just let him keep the dog. He made my life so difficult, and my misery wasn’t worth it. My son was obviously heart broken at the time.
My son is 11 now, and we have another dog he loves just as much.
I was about your age when I split up with the dude. I’m 37 now and I regret the wasted time.
It’ll be okay. You just have to take that first step; it’s the hardest. Everything gets easier after.
As they should… knocking up someone you’ve known 10 months isn’t smart. Sorry OP. I hope this goes well, but I wouldn’t cut off your family, you might really need their help if the relationship goes south.