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Elli, 22 y.o.
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Date: January 9, 2023
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Do you really want to be part of this drama?
Rightfully so.
As others have said, the second she messages you threatening to hurt herself or to end her life, you call the emergency services. If anything, she’s the one that could get in trouble for wasting police time and for blackmail if that’s a crime where you are. If they do believe she’s a threat to herself they can put her on a psychiatric hold.
The second you believe her and take her back, she knows that she can control and manipulate you this way. This isn’t the sweet person you were describing in your original post but a manipulative and controlling person.
You can help him by helping him get help.
When he attempts or leaves notes like that, can you explain what your response is?
Do you call emergency when that happens?
If not, you absolutely need to.
Attempting like that is a cry for professional help which he desperately needs.
Narcissism must run deep within her blood. I hate breaking it to you, but nothing you do will ever be right in her mind. If you had yelled, she'd play the victim. Narcissist will never own up to their own feelings. It's never their fault for anything. It's always someone else who causes them to be that way. She won't change. You can either stay in that situation or leave it. From my personal experience I'd suggest leaving it. But you do what is best for you.