Had something similar happen to me! I would recommend urgently seeing a dr if you can as taking it out yourself can be quite dangerous and the pain should have stopped by now.
Yes, she is asking too much of you. Grief isn’t something that goes away on a time table. You should be allowed to continue to grieve in whatever way you need. ‘Jane’ should understand that their is no limit to the love you have. Like it’s perfectly reasonable to still love your past wife but also be dating and moving on to someone else. It sounds like Jane is insecure and worried that things like putting up a sentimental wreath is somehow evidence you don’t care for her, which to me seems like the furthest thing from the truth. You should not be picked on for having lingering grief, don’t internalize it and feel that it’s time for you ‘get over it’ or that your somehow grieving wrong, Jane is partnering wrong you are doing nothing wrong. If Jane can’t understand that their is room in your heart for both your grief and your feelings for her then it doesn’t sound like she is a good fit for what you need right now. I am sorry things are hot for you OP, I couldn’t imagine loosing my wife suddenly, that would be horrible. You do you, this is Jane’s insecurities that are the problem definitely not your grief. Good luck OP!
My goodness, these comments are lacking sympathy. Hey man, I’m sorry that sucks so bad. I don’t know how I’d feel if my wife laughed like that. I don’t have advice other than people fuck up. Your wife definitely fucked up. You need to convey to her the gravity of the offense. Until you do you can’t really get too mad if she laughs.
The contents of prenups are not to be dictated by one of the two parties. It is an agreement that both of you are happy with often reviewed by lawyers. Has this happened?
Yes he should be signing a prenup but it’s reasonable for him to have an input to it.
Either tell your BF or at least tell your bf hanging out at his place makes you uncomfortable… put your foot down because you don't want to risk being around a guy like that, he clearly doesn't care about boundaries if he puts porn on around you…
Don't risk his behavior going any farther, either stay away or call him out…
Honestly, the only thing you could do, is be forthright in what you're doing and whom you're with. Even show your bf the Uber receipt from your friend and the time stamp.
Your GF of half a decade puts her friends needs consistently above yours and dismisses your feelings. This is clearly the life that you're signing up for if you stay with a person like this, because it's not likely to change.
Now she is trying to make you the bad guy, by making you apologise, so you take the blame for this mess.
I'd have one last heart to heart where you really explains everything and if she doesn't take it well then I'd seriously reconsider the relationship, because that's what you would be signing up for life
At first when I read that he got upset at the joke, my initial reaction was “he has a fragile ego and can't handle someone making a joke”… but the more I read, OP it became abundantly clear that this behaviour is abusive.
-being irrationally sensitive
-refusing to accept apology
-turning the car around to rob the family of their day out
-sulking / refusing to participate or help you parent
-refusing to eat with you
-withholding communication / giving you the cold shoulder….
-you seemingly always trying to manage his emotions
It did, I’m eating disorder free, have been for 2 years :))
Unless you ask him if he has a copy, you're never going to know.
Unless this man is a psycho, he isn't going to be holding on to it to embarrass you.
Had something similar happen to me! I would recommend urgently seeing a dr if you can as taking it out yourself can be quite dangerous and the pain should have stopped by now.
She is probably cheating or the kid isnt yours
Yes, she is asking too much of you. Grief isn’t something that goes away on a time table. You should be allowed to continue to grieve in whatever way you need. ‘Jane’ should understand that their is no limit to the love you have. Like it’s perfectly reasonable to still love your past wife but also be dating and moving on to someone else. It sounds like Jane is insecure and worried that things like putting up a sentimental wreath is somehow evidence you don’t care for her, which to me seems like the furthest thing from the truth. You should not be picked on for having lingering grief, don’t internalize it and feel that it’s time for you ‘get over it’ or that your somehow grieving wrong, Jane is partnering wrong you are doing nothing wrong. If Jane can’t understand that their is room in your heart for both your grief and your feelings for her then it doesn’t sound like she is a good fit for what you need right now. I am sorry things are hot for you OP, I couldn’t imagine loosing my wife suddenly, that would be horrible. You do you, this is Jane’s insecurities that are the problem definitely not your grief. Good luck OP!
My goodness, these comments are lacking sympathy. Hey man, I’m sorry that sucks so bad. I don’t know how I’d feel if my wife laughed like that. I don’t have advice other than people fuck up. Your wife definitely fucked up. You need to convey to her the gravity of the offense. Until you do you can’t really get too mad if she laughs.
The contents of prenups are not to be dictated by one of the two parties. It is an agreement that both of you are happy with often reviewed by lawyers. Has this happened?
Yes he should be signing a prenup but it’s reasonable for him to have an input to it.
Either tell your BF or at least tell your bf hanging out at his place makes you uncomfortable… put your foot down because you don't want to risk being around a guy like that, he clearly doesn't care about boundaries if he puts porn on around you…
Don't risk his behavior going any farther, either stay away or call him out…
Honestly, the only thing you could do, is be forthright in what you're doing and whom you're with. Even show your bf the Uber receipt from your friend and the time stamp.
You have been together 2 years. You either trust him or you dont. If you dont trust him, then break up.
It does sound like you are too needy/demanding. If my partner was whining and crying over a 10 day trip, I would probably be avoiding phone calls too.
What's 'working on the relationship' look like after two years of separation?
Are you just seeing who has changed during the two years and if you're compatible with the changes (or not.)?
If you're in counseling discuss it there. If you're not in counseling… Start and discuss it there. In a safe space.
Be prepared to answer hot questions.
Be prepared to discuss and analyze the differences in the procedures.
Be honest about if you want more kids are you guys up for fostering or adopting a child?
A vasectomy or tubal ligation is not going to magically fix this.
Your GF of half a decade puts her friends needs consistently above yours and dismisses your feelings. This is clearly the life that you're signing up for if you stay with a person like this, because it's not likely to change.
Now she is trying to make you the bad guy, by making you apologise, so you take the blame for this mess.
I'd have one last heart to heart where you really explains everything and if she doesn't take it well then I'd seriously reconsider the relationship, because that's what you would be signing up for life
Only way out is through, unfortunately. Good luck
At first when I read that he got upset at the joke, my initial reaction was “he has a fragile ego and can't handle someone making a joke”… but the more I read, OP it became abundantly clear that this behaviour is abusive.
-being irrationally sensitive
-refusing to accept apology
-turning the car around to rob the family of their day out
-sulking / refusing to participate or help you parent
-refusing to eat with you
-withholding communication / giving you the cold shoulder….
-you seemingly always trying to manage his emotions
-you being afraid.
This is toxic. This is abuse.
Remember that abuse isn't always physical.