I dunno. It sounds like you were really really messed up then.
Your friends were not born with a built in Manual that teaches them:
“This Is How I Will Behave if One of My Closest Friends/GF Thinks She Might Unalive Themself”
Frankly, I think you should give BOTH of them a Golden Pass and walk off into the sunset breathing a huge fucking Sigh of Relief that two people who clearly care about you a lot had the presence of mind to get together and see if two could do better than one to help you.
I'm sorry, but your anger here seems misplaced.
You have recently been legitimately diagnosed with a serious mental illness and these two long time friends still have your back.
I think you need to step back and ask yourself what are you really upset about.
This feels both off and targetted.
Here is the question: “What in your life will get better if you can get her to leave?”
I mean… you’re right in what is there to talk about because he broke your trust.
But I would be curious as to what he thinks there is to talk about just for the hell of it.
If he broke your trust like that and you take cheating to be a deal breaker then I’d talk with him and break up.
You could just ghost and block and give the cold shoulder, but he wants to talk. Let him. See what he has to say.
It probably won’t be enough though, so you can make him painfully aware of the consequences of his decisions by breaking up with him firmly, over and over if you have to.
Then he may realize. But paying a sex worker to cheat? Yeah. I probably wouldn’t want to continue that relationship either. That trust is broken for sure and he knew what he did.
A chart is a good idea. Write down the chores, decide who does what and how often. You probably will have to live! with him doing it like the chart says and not when it is needed, but that should be doable.
So if you purchased a house with the inheritance and you get divorced then the court would award you the house? Is that what you’re saying? I’m from the U.S., it’s different here. For example, I live in California. It’s a community property state, in other words, assets are split 50/50.
You’re clearly not asexual, just maybe not very sexual but you clearly have some level of sexual desire.
But YOU told your GF you were asexual as in you don’t desire sex. So she’s being a good partner with the info she has. And now you’re upset she won’t be sexual with her.
So you need to explain to here what’s what or expect her to treat you like the asexual person you told her you were.
If he did something that traumatized you, please don't be afraid to reach out for help. You can start with your local rape hotline. While he may not have crossed that legal line, it sounds like he came damn close – and you could probably benefit from talking to a trained volunteer. It's anonymous, and you won't be pressured into filing charges or anything like that unless you want to. They will just listen sympathetically and non-judgmentally to your story, and offer resources to help you heal more quickly. I'm sorry this happened to you, OP.
I dunno. It sounds like you were really really messed up then.
Your friends were not born with a built in Manual that teaches them:
“This Is How I Will Behave if One of My Closest Friends/GF Thinks She Might Unalive Themself”
Frankly, I think you should give BOTH of them a Golden Pass and walk off into the sunset breathing a huge fucking Sigh of Relief that two people who clearly care about you a lot had the presence of mind to get together and see if two could do better than one to help you.
I'm sorry, but your anger here seems misplaced.
You have recently been legitimately diagnosed with a serious mental illness and these two long time friends still have your back.
I think you need to step back and ask yourself what are you really upset about.
This feels both off and targetted.
Here is the question: “What in your life will get better if you can get her to leave?”
Red flag. If he won’t talk finances, run.
I mean… you’re right in what is there to talk about because he broke your trust.
But I would be curious as to what he thinks there is to talk about just for the hell of it.
If he broke your trust like that and you take cheating to be a deal breaker then I’d talk with him and break up.
You could just ghost and block and give the cold shoulder, but he wants to talk. Let him. See what he has to say.
It probably won’t be enough though, so you can make him painfully aware of the consequences of his decisions by breaking up with him firmly, over and over if you have to.
Then he may realize. But paying a sex worker to cheat? Yeah. I probably wouldn’t want to continue that relationship either. That trust is broken for sure and he knew what he did.
I could just say I happened to bump into her?
If it is a strong relationship, then you asking her to reevaluate her feelings, for you shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
My thoughts exactly. He was so vague about it being “sort of” for her birthday in the post.
well you know that shes a liar.
That is not the definition of rape anywhere
Anyone consider he was hacked? Scammers everywhere these days.
A chart is a good idea. Write down the chores, decide who does what and how often. You probably will have to live! with him doing it like the chart says and not when it is needed, but that should be doable.
So if you purchased a house with the inheritance and you get divorced then the court would award you the house? Is that what you’re saying? I’m from the U.S., it’s different here. For example, I live in California. It’s a community property state, in other words, assets are split 50/50.
You’re clearly not asexual, just maybe not very sexual but you clearly have some level of sexual desire.
But YOU told your GF you were asexual as in you don’t desire sex. So she’s being a good partner with the info she has. And now you’re upset she won’t be sexual with her.
So you need to explain to here what’s what or expect her to treat you like the asexual person you told her you were.
She is stringing you along. You need to force her to make a decision, or move on.
If he did something that traumatized you, please don't be afraid to reach out for help. You can start with your local rape hotline. While he may not have crossed that legal line, it sounds like he came damn close – and you could probably benefit from talking to a trained volunteer. It's anonymous, and you won't be pressured into filing charges or anything like that unless you want to. They will just listen sympathetically and non-judgmentally to your story, and offer resources to help you heal more quickly. I'm sorry this happened to you, OP.
He's not caring, he is actively trying to stop you from being happy.
He doesn't get to “let” you do anything!
He's not your boss, he doesn't get to make these decisions for you.
The guy sounds fucking toxic.
She’s naive
You read text?
8 month. That it is FWB is only something stated above somewhere.
If they really HAD been FWB and HAD HAD sex before, why would he have ghosted her?
That would be stupid.