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Room for online sex video chat EvelenLia
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Birth Date: 2004-05-03
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Date: February 23, 2023
You don't have to still be into her but it's weird to get angry about this. She's not the one. You can still be friends, or move on from that too. But why so angry?
I've never mentioned the noises or faces because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I just asked a few times if she feels okay. Then she like snaps out of the “pain faces” and says “yeah I'm great” and smiles and then when I start again it's back to the faces and noises.
Like I've said in other replies: I'd never try to hurt her feelings. It's just I thought it was only a porn thing, like a force fetish. I didn't know it was a cultural thing to show enjoyment as pain? It's only in bed as well. When I massage her I hear the normal moans of enjoyment I'm used to. When I've seen her in pain, it's literally the same as the sex noises and faces. So it's almost like she's only switched up those two reactions for sexy time.
It sounds like your boyfriend doesn’t respect your right to make choices for yourself in the workplace. This is not okay, and I urge you to set a naked boundary with him about the pressure he is attempting to use in order to get his way. Is this a pattern with him? If not, this boundary exercise is a good way to see if he can handle your autonomy. You need to tell him in no uncertain terms, “I have handled this situation, and the harassment has stopped. This is MY career, I am the one who was harassed, and I know how best to deal with the issue. Do not pressure me any more about this. You can talk about your feelings and I’ll gladly listen, but I will not tolerate blame, guilt-tripping, or unempathetic behavior from you.”
If he reacts poorly, continues to pressure you, or tries to deflect/reverse the victim-harasser dynamic, these are major red flags for abuse and you need to form a plan to exit this relationship. Your partner has the right to be upset on your behalf and it is normal to feel threatened by a situation like this, but he has NO right to emotionally manipulate you, blame you for the situation, or hijack YOUR solution to a complex problem he likely doesn’t understand on a personal level. If he can’t tolerate the way you handled things, he is free to leave. You are an adult, and so is he. But don’t let him put this on you, op. Your bf’s behavior is inappropriate and disrespectful.
That last part of your comments just let's me know that you are white y'all are so soft
There is no right answer to your question. When you feel ready is the way to go.
As to these two past BFs, semi-ghost them until they get the message. Hearing from them may interfere with your head getting clear and ready to try again.
One thing that is really important, though, is to know what you would have done differently in hindsight. Like, did you ignore red flags? Ask too little for yourself? That kind of thing. Either journaling or a short course of therapy should give you plenty of data.