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FlaviaBaxter Public Chat Channel
Date: March 27, 2023
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Can you get a nurse part time or someone to help with the cleaning ? It all shouldn’t be on you that’s a lot
Stay with your mom. Boyfriends often are not forever. If you guys break up and you missed your mother's final year you will have major heartbreak.
Maybe your boyfriend can move in with you and your mom? Seems like he is understanding of the situation – You shouldn't feel pressure to leave your mom.
My husband left me for someone else’s wife early last year. We have an autistic son too, plus two other daughters. I found myself fighting for boundaries I never knew I had (don’t think he knew either hahaha) – where I demanded he step up as our sons dad and take on a share of the care load. I told him I couldn’t and shouldn’t be doing it 24/7, it’s not humanly possible with a special needs child in the mix. Just like yours, mine never went to all the various appts either (he worked full time and I was full time mum, even though I had various part time jobs over the years too). He had the audacity to say ‘he is too hard’ and ‘but I’ve always worked and you’ve always been mum, why should that change?’ Ummm, because you changed the situation, you giant jackass! Told him that, to his face ??
Anyway, stand your ground and insist he steps up to Dad duties and spend time each week with his kids. It’s totally worth the fight because the kids get to have fun times with Dad and you get a well earned breather each week. Or fortnight, whatever works for you guys. Mine takes them 2 nights per week and I fill my time with my friends and my support network.
Build your support (I call my people my village) and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. That help might be as simple as a phone call so you don’t feel so alone. Hugs Mama, you’ll find your feet and discover the world is an amazing place on the other side of a crappy relationship.
If you plan on living together – don’t. He will mooch off you
Ok so you now have stipulations put on you when you’re allowed to talk to him? And when he does want your attention it’s for his own pleasure or gratification?
You say you’ve talked to him about this and he keeps dismissing you…..So clearly he doesn’t see this as a problem and will continue to do it whilst you put up with it
Time to give him the ultimate ultimatum and move out….He’s not going to change and please take this as a lesson that this is why you don’t move in with someone so quickly
Reddit is usually too quick to say break up, but in this situation they're right.
If you start knowing your partner better, and it makes you like them LESS and not MORE, it's go time. You just won't work, together. You should only grow to love your partner more as time goes on. Learning more about them and seeing who they are should always be a good thing. If it's not, then you aren't a good match.