Your title makes it sound like he was kidnapped or had a crisis and ran away. I was so ready to throw out resources, too. OP, he’s not “missing”, he dumped you. You wanted to fuck someone else, and guess what? Now you can! Stop looking for him, leave him alone.
Ita not the bralessness that's the issue. It's that they go to parties and everyone can see his gfs nude nipples, and I'd take a decent guess she's the one person there who's nipples are on display and likely everyone will be staring at her, and I bet that's pretty awkward.
Idk about you but whilst I've seen the shape of people's nipples through their clothes, I've never seen anyone just outright have them uncovered through holes in clothes to show eveyrone else at the party we are at. I'd personally honestly be embarrassed. Like it doesn't matter if it's male or female. If I went to a party and my bf had big holes around his naked nipples, I think he'd look a bit stupid and be really embarrassed to be seen with him honestly. If it wasn't Halloween and we couldn't leave the house or meet any friends without him needing to have his nipples on display for them every single time like OP… I'd be ending the relationship. Because it's just kind of weird and attentiony, and would be really fucking embarrassing. Out to dinner with all my friends before we go to a bar… and bf is showing everyone his nipples. Like what? Why? What's the need? Why should that be any different for a man vs a woman.
If this was a post saying I can't go out to a party or night out or anything without my bf wearing a top with holes around his nipples, the reaction would be way different. Literally nobody here telling OP to get over it, is imagining never being able to go to see their friends without their partner of either gender, having holes around their nipples. I cant believe I wrote that sentence, it sounds absolutely mental.
I feel this is actually less about fashion and more about her being so anti control and dealing with her previous issues, in a way to stretch and push boundaries that's upsetting her current bf… who is trying very very hot to be understanding and ok with it, but isn't even allowed to talk to her about it without her having a meltdown. So I don't think this is just about fashion. Her next step here is basically just to go full topless. At what point is he allowed to care?
It's a big incompatibility that she's only just started. And I'm going to disagree with the post above saying one day you'll regret not just spending more time with your titties out gf. Life is too short to be permanently embarrassed by your partners exhibitionism, every single time you want to go out or see your friends.
So if OP is not exaggerating, and she's just always in seethrough or hole filled clothes and showing off her nipples in a way nobody else at their parties are. Yes absolutely talk to her about how it makes him feel. If for him it's too much, and she doesn't care it's probably embarrssimg him, leave the relationship and date anyone else at the party and let her find a guy who doesn't care about her getting her tits out on every night out. And they can enjoy introducing her like that to all their friends for the first time and seeing their reactions.
Really though, she can do what she wants and it's nobody else's place to stop her. But everyone telling OP he's daft for being uncomfortable his partner wants to he exhibitionist at every night out with their friends isn't being fair. They are both totally entitled to do what they want and feel how they want to.
Just find a compromise or break up and find someone that doesn't make you feel really uncomfortable whenever you want to hang out with your pals.
Assuming leaving is not an option, and for the record it should, because none of this is ok. It's so so far from ok that you could fill a futbol field with red flags.
The only path forward I can see that's semi viable is individual therapy for both of you (different therapist) and couples therapy together. It would be important that you research who you both talk to first, since a bad therapist may make things worse.
Maybe she doesn't have ADHD or not just that, and with treatment (might include meds at least at the beginning) she can get better.
Do tell someone though, decide who you trust with this, because it is an extremely dangerous and volatile situation for both of you. And someone has to know everything to protect her too in case something ever happens to you, so don't feel like you are betraying her by talking.
Any sex act is two emphatic yes or one no – that's the rule. Not pressuring each other. Everyone wants to do it or you don't do it; that's how consent works.
Blood oath.: Don't do it since it's medically unsafe and don't do it because it will probably send her even more into the deep end.
I truly hope this is not real, but just in case it is, this is my advice.
If your bothered by images in your head of her with someone else, tell yourself those images are not real. They are 100 percent the product of your imagination. Also, imagining it makes a part of your brain feel like it's happening right now, which isn't the case.
What if you stay and the next time she has to go away for a work trip or visit her family? How would you trust her that she won't cheat again? Because she is surely capable of doing it and hiding it for years without any remorse. Anytime she's not answering your call or replying to your text immediately you will wonder if she's doing it again. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this?
He might. He might not. That's not the point. The point is to embrace love wherever you find it.
He’s entertaining her on a public forum. Leave him he’s a player.
You can't tell people what to do with their lives.
Your title makes it sound like he was kidnapped or had a crisis and ran away. I was so ready to throw out resources, too. OP, he’s not “missing”, he dumped you. You wanted to fuck someone else, and guess what? Now you can! Stop looking for him, leave him alone.
Ita not the bralessness that's the issue. It's that they go to parties and everyone can see his gfs nude nipples, and I'd take a decent guess she's the one person there who's nipples are on display and likely everyone will be staring at her, and I bet that's pretty awkward.
Idk about you but whilst I've seen the shape of people's nipples through their clothes, I've never seen anyone just outright have them uncovered through holes in clothes to show eveyrone else at the party we are at. I'd personally honestly be embarrassed. Like it doesn't matter if it's male or female. If I went to a party and my bf had big holes around his naked nipples, I think he'd look a bit stupid and be really embarrassed to be seen with him honestly. If it wasn't Halloween and we couldn't leave the house or meet any friends without him needing to have his nipples on display for them every single time like OP… I'd be ending the relationship. Because it's just kind of weird and attentiony, and would be really fucking embarrassing. Out to dinner with all my friends before we go to a bar… and bf is showing everyone his nipples. Like what? Why? What's the need? Why should that be any different for a man vs a woman.
If this was a post saying I can't go out to a party or night out or anything without my bf wearing a top with holes around his nipples, the reaction would be way different. Literally nobody here telling OP to get over it, is imagining never being able to go to see their friends without their partner of either gender, having holes around their nipples. I cant believe I wrote that sentence, it sounds absolutely mental.
I feel this is actually less about fashion and more about her being so anti control and dealing with her previous issues, in a way to stretch and push boundaries that's upsetting her current bf… who is trying very very hot to be understanding and ok with it, but isn't even allowed to talk to her about it without her having a meltdown. So I don't think this is just about fashion. Her next step here is basically just to go full topless. At what point is he allowed to care?
It's a big incompatibility that she's only just started. And I'm going to disagree with the post above saying one day you'll regret not just spending more time with your titties out gf. Life is too short to be permanently embarrassed by your partners exhibitionism, every single time you want to go out or see your friends.
So if OP is not exaggerating, and she's just always in seethrough or hole filled clothes and showing off her nipples in a way nobody else at their parties are. Yes absolutely talk to her about how it makes him feel. If for him it's too much, and she doesn't care it's probably embarrssimg him, leave the relationship and date anyone else at the party and let her find a guy who doesn't care about her getting her tits out on every night out. And they can enjoy introducing her like that to all their friends for the first time and seeing their reactions.
Really though, she can do what she wants and it's nobody else's place to stop her. But everyone telling OP he's daft for being uncomfortable his partner wants to he exhibitionist at every night out with their friends isn't being fair. They are both totally entitled to do what they want and feel how they want to.
Just find a compromise or break up and find someone that doesn't make you feel really uncomfortable whenever you want to hang out with your pals.
Assuming leaving is not an option, and for the record it should, because none of this is ok. It's so so far from ok that you could fill a futbol field with red flags.
The only path forward I can see that's semi viable is individual therapy for both of you (different therapist) and couples therapy together. It would be important that you research who you both talk to first, since a bad therapist may make things worse.
Maybe she doesn't have ADHD or not just that, and with treatment (might include meds at least at the beginning) she can get better.
Do tell someone though, decide who you trust with this, because it is an extremely dangerous and volatile situation for both of you. And someone has to know everything to protect her too in case something ever happens to you, so don't feel like you are betraying her by talking.
Any sex act is two emphatic yes or one no – that's the rule. Not pressuring each other. Everyone wants to do it or you don't do it; that's how consent works.
Blood oath.: Don't do it since it's medically unsafe and don't do it because it will probably send her even more into the deep end.
I truly hope this is not real, but just in case it is, this is my advice.
Working on what? Hiding it better to reel you back in? She's trouble and you don't need that kind of drama in your life.
If your bothered by images in your head of her with someone else, tell yourself those images are not real. They are 100 percent the product of your imagination. Also, imagining it makes a part of your brain feel like it's happening right now, which isn't the case.
What if you stay and the next time she has to go away for a work trip or visit her family? How would you trust her that she won't cheat again? Because she is surely capable of doing it and hiding it for years without any remorse. Anytime she's not answering your call or replying to your text immediately you will wonder if she's doing it again. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this?
The dreams have been happening for the last 3 years, long before getting pregnant and back when things were great with my bf
I'm not op.
Sweetie – What happened to your self esteem that you are willing to put up with any of this? Respect yourself and end this. You deserve better.