It sounds like you two are really caught up in a cycle of blame and self-doubt. And honestly, it's hot to say if it's you or not. But what I can say is that it's not all about physical appearance. There could be a lot of different factors at play here. It could be that he's just not into sex, or it could be that he's got some deeper issues or insecurities that he's not ready to talk about yet.
The thing is, if he's not enjoying the sex and you're not enjoying the sex, then it's not really doing either of you any good. It sounds like he's not ready or willing to have an open and honest conversation about what's going on with him, and that's something that might need to change if you're going to work through this.
But as you said, actions speak louder than words. It's not easy, but you might want to consider seeking couples therapy to help you both talk through these issues. And remember, It might not be the sex you want, but if you're happy in every other way, that's something to be thankful for. Don't forget to communicate and be open with him about what you're feeling. And if he's not willing to do that, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
I expect that he is dealing with the loss himself as he was up for it
What you dont see is the consequences of the lead up and how he will see this
You were days from aborting, your mind was made up, your choice, not his
Then you lose the pregnancy naturally in the same way the chemicals used do in similar ways just days before
From his point of view nothing changed, you no longer are pregnant, so why would he be more worried about how you feel than he does
He was the one that lost a child, you terminated a clump of cells naturally as would have happened 3 days later anyway
Do you know what kind of guy doesnt give a rats ass if his partner loses a kid, a guy that 100% doesn't want that kid
Being blunt you need to realise pregnancy is 100% under your control
Feelings are shared still and you cant expect all of them coming your way, as this will also indicate he is getting little from you because you expect him to comfort you for a decision that he didnt agree with but accepted
I reccomend therapy, it may save a marriage that may go down the pan quickly if you dont
I lost a child with a partner that thought they were the only person that it affected, that was the first drop of poison that led to a divorce very soon after
I don't understand why he was cool with buying a house with you (one of the biggest financial purchases a person can make in their life) but gets cold feet at marriage ??
This relationship seems very backwards. You guys own a house together but aren't married, and his excuse is money?
Sounds like its not your real best friend. Why the f would you be jealous? this doesn't make any sense. I would rethink this relationship
I recorded an hour long discussion on how he was going to take full custody
Updateme!
It sounds like you two are really caught up in a cycle of blame and self-doubt. And honestly, it's hot to say if it's you or not. But what I can say is that it's not all about physical appearance. There could be a lot of different factors at play here. It could be that he's just not into sex, or it could be that he's got some deeper issues or insecurities that he's not ready to talk about yet.
The thing is, if he's not enjoying the sex and you're not enjoying the sex, then it's not really doing either of you any good. It sounds like he's not ready or willing to have an open and honest conversation about what's going on with him, and that's something that might need to change if you're going to work through this.
But as you said, actions speak louder than words. It's not easy, but you might want to consider seeking couples therapy to help you both talk through these issues. And remember, It might not be the sex you want, but if you're happy in every other way, that's something to be thankful for. Don't forget to communicate and be open with him about what you're feeling. And if he's not willing to do that, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Any relationship you will ever be in, will have this feeling. It will have this phase. This is where the real love begins.
Women get dressed up when they go out with friends.
I expect that he is dealing with the loss himself as he was up for it
What you dont see is the consequences of the lead up and how he will see this
You were days from aborting, your mind was made up, your choice, not his
Then you lose the pregnancy naturally in the same way the chemicals used do in similar ways just days before
From his point of view nothing changed, you no longer are pregnant, so why would he be more worried about how you feel than he does
He was the one that lost a child, you terminated a clump of cells naturally as would have happened 3 days later anyway
Do you know what kind of guy doesnt give a rats ass if his partner loses a kid, a guy that 100% doesn't want that kid
Being blunt you need to realise pregnancy is 100% under your control
Feelings are shared still and you cant expect all of them coming your way, as this will also indicate he is getting little from you because you expect him to comfort you for a decision that he didnt agree with but accepted
I reccomend therapy, it may save a marriage that may go down the pan quickly if you dont
I lost a child with a partner that thought they were the only person that it affected, that was the first drop of poison that led to a divorce very soon after
I don't understand why he was cool with buying a house with you (one of the biggest financial purchases a person can make in their life) but gets cold feet at marriage ??
This relationship seems very backwards. You guys own a house together but aren't married, and his excuse is money?