One thing I dislike about this sub at times is how quick people are to suggest breakup. This however is not one of those times.
Get out, get far. You simply deserve better.
A word of caution though.. he will a absolutely do whatever minimum he needs to do to keep you.
He's using the “carrot on a stick” approach. At first he said he loved you because he knew you needed that. That's the foundation. Withdraw that and emotionally starve you to keep you desperate for that affection you KNOW is there (foundation). When you get sad and finally think it's over he will give you just enough. He hopes a basic “you know how I feel but I just don't say that” but if needed he can up.the ante to “I can't online without you”. Hopefully this is enough and he gets to keep the carrot in reserve.
If you leave him (like you obviously should), he will tell you he loves you (if you don't give in). He may even love bomb you and treat you like you have always wanted.. for a time. The problem for him is he wants that carrot.. Once he knows he's got you back he will treat you worse than ever before. He will withhold affection for longer. He will tell you terrible things. You will have to endure worse for longer before he decides he's got to give you a tiny crumb to string you along.
If the above sounds like the life for you then you have found the man of your dreams. If not then run like fuck.
I reached out out of out of courtesy because like I've said, the situation in this country is very different and everyone knows and sees each other on a regular basis.
And that is how I am as a person, I'm not an arsehole and I don't treat people badly just because they have to me. Unfortunately I'm not perfect which I assume from the way you're commenting you are and have never had any problems (which I doubt is the case) so please bare that in mind when someone is asking for advice, and you come across as obnoxious and rude, and as someone who has never had any problems at all in their life. It was my first relationship at they time and had nothing to base it on which is why I was wondering what others take would be. If you don’t understand the situation, please feel free to ask more questions about it. If It’s something that you you feel is silly please just scroll past and don’t comment. Thank you!
Thats true. And yes this state of limbo is painful to both of us and I don’t want it spilling onto our children
Sexual assault by family is unfortunately fairly common
One thing I dislike about this sub at times is how quick people are to suggest breakup. This however is not one of those times.
Get out, get far. You simply deserve better.
A word of caution though.. he will a absolutely do whatever minimum he needs to do to keep you.
He's using the “carrot on a stick” approach. At first he said he loved you because he knew you needed that. That's the foundation. Withdraw that and emotionally starve you to keep you desperate for that affection you KNOW is there (foundation). When you get sad and finally think it's over he will give you just enough. He hopes a basic “you know how I feel but I just don't say that” but if needed he can up.the ante to “I can't online without you”. Hopefully this is enough and he gets to keep the carrot in reserve.
If you leave him (like you obviously should), he will tell you he loves you (if you don't give in). He may even love bomb you and treat you like you have always wanted.. for a time. The problem for him is he wants that carrot.. Once he knows he's got you back he will treat you worse than ever before. He will withhold affection for longer. He will tell you terrible things. You will have to endure worse for longer before he decides he's got to give you a tiny crumb to string you along.
If the above sounds like the life for you then you have found the man of your dreams. If not then run like fuck.
It's weird you would have an issue with the idea of paying half. Huge red flag.
I reached out out of out of courtesy because like I've said, the situation in this country is very different and everyone knows and sees each other on a regular basis.
And that is how I am as a person, I'm not an arsehole and I don't treat people badly just because they have to me. Unfortunately I'm not perfect which I assume from the way you're commenting you are and have never had any problems (which I doubt is the case) so please bare that in mind when someone is asking for advice, and you come across as obnoxious and rude, and as someone who has never had any problems at all in their life. It was my first relationship at they time and had nothing to base it on which is why I was wondering what others take would be. If you don’t understand the situation, please feel free to ask more questions about it. If It’s something that you you feel is silly please just scroll past and don’t comment. Thank you!