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1. I think this post is clear evidence of their reluctance to talk to you about this.

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2. Are you gay for dating and having sex with a lady? Really?

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3. That fact he's not acting this way or similar is a huge red flag.

   Right up until this line:

   > to get out of things like doing the dishes,

   I was thinking sensory issues – but when it becomes apparent that the outcomes of this behaviour is less 'nice' dates and getting waited on hand and foot…

   Geeze

   To be frank even if its sensory issues its still manipulative, its not correct to expect your partner to leap to your every whim and drop everything for an issue like this.

   What really worries me OP is this is being presented as his feelings are beyond important – how long before things YOU do start triggering him and its YOUR fault because you “know how he is” and his control increases even further.

   You're already burnt out catering to this – sounds like you're living with him?

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4. I had a very similar experience recently and also found it very offensive, although upon reflection some of that was my own insecurities. Hearing this kind of opinion made me doubt the person had been honest in their previous compliments and made me feel judged; it also felt unfair and inaccurate because even though I could lose 15-30 pounds, I’m not unhealthy and I walk all the time. I think it’s especially hot to hear from a new partner because it does not feel possible for it to come from a place of love and care, since you don’t have that trust and commitment, but only from a place of judgment and trying to change you. I think one incident can be forgiven as a poorly approached way of discussing health/activity preference; if it becomes a pattern, I think it reflects the start of an unhealthy relationship

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