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Nice Squirt for you [912 tokens remaining]
Date: September 30, 2022
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Can you call her friends/family and tell them a time to be there when you breakup with her so she has somewhere to go/someone to help her during the panic attack?
Completely not fair of her to guilt you into staying – that’s not love, but I understand it’s not as cut and dry as “leave her – kick her out”
Provide the backup she needs to leave
I think the controlling card is what a lot of people pull of when they want to feel better about being absolutely unaware of their surroundings. Same as treating you like you are someone who are angry at them, by defending themselves using “self-blaming” they are trying to feel better about it.
It is not controlling to look for financial stability and if you were as controlling as your ex said I dont think your partner could have spent so so much without telling you first.
I do think though that you have had quite the bad luck with your partners
So now that you’re over it and have gotten what you wanted from her, your moral compass has suddenly kicked in and you want to tell the truth? Your both human garbage imo no matter what you choose to do.
Sucks to be her. She wanted an open marriage, and got an open marriage, now she wants a half-open marriage where she can play but you’re not allowed to. Tell her no, it’s either open or closed, no “she’s allowed to do whatever and whoever she wants and you have to go sit in the other room in the corner facing the wall” BS.
I am going to impregnate her soon so she will still have 9 months to finish school
I was afraid your comment would end in this and that is why I disagree with the comment you are replying to.
Men's reproductive rights should be a thing.
It should take 2 yes votes to bring a child into the world, because no matter what the rhetoric is in utero, the single mom always does a money grab and the father always becomes “a deadbeat loser”.
OP should get an abortion and try to start a family with a man who is on the same page as her.
If they already are turning on him then in my opinion he has nothing to lose. All you can do at this point is show her that the cost of bullying you is too damn high to pay.
You’re here talking about issues specific to long distance. What about the issues that led to this?
yes, he's being ridiculous. Things cost more than just money – they cost time. Convenience and time saved are more important than saving $.001 on water from the tap for a couple extra seconds.
As in in the US? yeah? You guys have some of the worst healthcare in the developed world. Don't get me wrong Britain has pretty poor healthcare, even then it's considered better than US standards, in general but not in the private sector which would be where OOP was getting treated. You can't compare U.K. private sector with stuff that goes on in the US.
I truly don’t see the connection. The rest of the community also hurt OP and didn’t suffer the same effects. A change in how they treated OP wouldn’t have resulted in a change in her situation currently.
I didn’t write “I have every sympathy” because I expect OP to have it. Or to mean it. It’s a de-escalation tactic ahead of the harsher sentence that comes next, in order to avoid drama.
It's a risk. You've pointed out that there will be added stresses of finances, but there are also added stresses of taking care of a home, and in this case, navigating two other roommates. It does help that you've known your GF a long time, but there is a tremendous difference in being friends, being lovers and living together. The reason people tend to wait is that it's important to gain an understanding of each of those separate stages. As your relationship progresses you may come to learn something about your partner that disqualifies her as a GF or something happens that changes the nature of your relationship. And then you'd be stuck living together. The reason people tend to wait to move in together is that having more time as a couple can provide greater clarity on the likelihood of something like that happening.
And you are also absolutely right to be worried about still being in the honeymoon phase and getting enough alone time. You'd have to really discuss good mechanisms to make sure you can both get that, in a way that wouldn't create resentment.
So long story short waiting to move in limits a lot of those risks, but it doesn't prevent the risk. So, the question here is are you willing to accept the greater risk of moving in together very early, for whatever possible benefits it confers. There isn't a right answer to that, and in many ways time will determine if you made the right choice. I wouldn't do what you're planning on doing, but you aren't me.
tl;dr Yes, it's a risky option for your relationship, but in the end if you think it makes sense to do compared to the risks, it's your life.