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movies and chill PLAY WITH ME
Date: October 18, 2022
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He does see the mess. He just doesn't see it as a “problem” that he needs to do anything about it. And if it is a “problem”, it's only a problem for you, and therefore not his concern to deal with or address.
He knows how you feel about it. He's spent years listening to you tell him. But that doesn't change anything for him. He would still rather not do anything to change and let it continue to be your problem. After so many years of having the same conversation, he's probably bored of it, and thus is changing the narrative. But he doesn't want to change, he wants you to change. He is coming up with new ways to circumvent you trying to change him. He is not actually ever going to address the core issue, which is him.
Girl, if he wanted to, he would. At this point, you need to leave him. Call it a separation if you want, but find a place to on-line for a few weeks, a month, a few months. Tell him that unless you see real, sustained effort on his part to acknowledge that what he is doing is wrong, and to take genuine steps towards fixing it, you will not be coming back. And then you need to stick to it.
One of two things will happen. You will scare him straight, and he will realize that unless he actually does change, you will leave forever. Or, you will be able to move on with your life and discover the freedom that lies in not being tied to someone who is committed to not being a partner to you.
This whole thing is a huge red flag
It might be good for you to examine your views and why you feel like you have to financially take care of her but she can’t financially take care of you. Is she less capable than you? Do you not view her as an equal?
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Note: This pertains to the relationship between me and my ex's grandpa (we are basically family)
For context: I work for this family member (he is my ex wife’s grandpa.) I moved to the same city and was working at the hospital years ago. I left the hospital and started working for him to help turn around his family business.
Fast forward 4 years, and we are doing great in business. I was living at this property no rent, but paid all utilities and up kept the land (1/2 acre). Him and his wife agreed to sell me the house and land for a good price and what they paid for it years ago (20K).
Him, his wife, and me agree to 20k, and we agree that I pay for my closing costs. Keep in mind this is the first time purchasing a home and land. The realtor sends me an email saying the total price I need to pay is 20,320. I am new to buying a home, so I see the contract and it says a 250 closing cost and some other fees. I go to the bank and get a cashier’s check for the 20,320. At the realtor, we are all sitting there going over the contract, and everything looks good and we shake and sign all the papers, agreeing that their money will be deposited later that day.
Fast forward to the following Monday when I go into work, he tells me that I owe him $1,000 because I agree to pay ALL closing costs. I didn’t make the contract and assumed they took care of everything properly, but apparently they paid $350 of owed taxes on the land. So instead of the full $20k, they got $18,950 because of THEIR closing costs and fees + the taxes.
I feel like he is being greedy and just wants to come out on top. I feel like we have both helped each other throughout the years, and the way he demanded the 1K as if I agreed to pay all their fees (even though I got a great price on the home and land). He is a very tough businessman who gets money out of people and almost always comes out on top. I feel like he was irresponsible in not looking over the contract and bringing it up; again, it was my first time buying land and a home, so the paperwork was a little confusing.
I feel like he is going to make my life a living hell if he doesn’t come out on top of this deal. I feel I should pay the taxes of $350 as a fair compromise, but knowing him, he will shun me from the family and make my life hell at work. I feel kinda betrayed and in a tough spot, but I just wanted advice from others.
Update: After reading all the advice and dropping my pride, I decided it was the right thing to give him the $1K, as the price was great, he's done so much for me, and the taxes were on his side of the contract. I appreciate all the comments, as I just needed to sit down and think before I made any decisions. We talked about it and I explained how him asking for 1k threw me off, but then we laughed with him saying “I told the lady that it was wrong.”
our sex was constantly improving and making strides through-out our relationship. I didnt mean just accept it and move on. I ment accept it and move on and keep improving.
You'd be better off not having a counselor. And if you need one, find someone else.