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gotthatwetwet, 37 y.o.
Location: South Carolina, United States
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Date: October 28, 2022
I’d be more concerned about his hitting you instead of objects. This ultimatum is necessary
It sounds like you are more mature and wanting a more traditional BF GF relationship and he’s still a teenage boy who wants to hang with his buddies? He’s not really thinking like a “boyfriend,” more like someone he’s casually dating?
I’m pro choice for the person who’s life is being put at risk by incubating a fetus.
If you are that incompatible then it sounds like it is better to move on from the relationship. Cause it sounds like you are wasting your own time being in a relationship where you have certain needs that can't be fulfilled in “this” relationship. Better to find a more compatible person than trying to make things complicated with unnatural, forced methods. It is not bad that you want intimacy, but forcing a relationship never turns out well. You guys have a incompatibility and if it is not fixable then move on.
What if you tried edibles. Just make sure to label them and keep them in a safe space where she couldn't accidently take it. I used to be stoner but I stopped. Like any vise, too much of it can be unhealthy. There are no health affects other than lung damage. No matter if it's a bong or joint, you are introducing tar into your lungs. I would try to quit if you can. If you NEED to smoke more than once a week I'd seek help from a professional for addiction. It's not an attractive habit.
When people tell you who they are, listen.
“She also said that she felt I wasn’t into her sexually, and that this bruised her ego,”
This, this is the entire reason.
To be completely honest with you. The very few times my bf couldn't finish (3× over 13 months) I felt like absolute shit and the ugliest person ever. Was this even remotely based in reality? Nope. Not even a tiny bit. I am insecure and have things to work through.
I am 19, though, so one would hope a 30 year old would have a better handle on her insecurities.
Her immaturity is her issue alone and has no bearing on you. ??♀️
I would advice you to give a warning BEFORE you engage in intimacy. Way more likely your partner will handle it well.
It doesn't matter what his sexuality is, he was lying to you and carrying out a form of cheating with these people. His behaviour was unacceptable in a monogamous marriage. He is untrustworthy for sure.