If you will regret not asking her down the line YES! Sometimes it is worth it to put your friendships in jeopardy when they’re about to make a monumental decision that you truly don’t agree with because you dont think it’ll make them happy.
I'd really like to know where some of the commenters online where their MH system is so amazing that they can just drop them off at the clinic and all is well?
You drop her off at the ER here, she's waiting 12+ hrs, especially if the crisis team has gone home for the night. That's a long hard wait in a GOOD headspace let alone if you're in crisis. Then, 9 times out of 10, you'll be told there are no beds or admitting you would be more harmful than beneficial for you, and that they'll refer you to mental health which will take 6, 12, 18 months.
One of my clients was just turned away from a residential treatment program because they didn't have a solid enough support system for goodness sake
Like… the system is broken, people are begging for help. I wish it was as easy as these comments make it seem – one person can only do so much and they absolutely can't do it to their detriment. Boundaries are so, so necessary and can only help everybody involved.. but let's not forget the social determinants of health and our hierchy of needs which includes belonging/support
I am currently in therapy and I’ve brought up couples counseling to they but they refuse to go saying that we can figure it out ourselves. I do think you’re right and that’s the only way to fix our marriage but I don’t know how to get them to go. If you know of anyway to convince them that our marriage is important enough to seek help, please let me know. Thank you!
You love everything about her? That statement would include the way she lies her ass off, talks to other guys behind your back, and the general feeling she can't be trusted.
You must have met this girl at yoga class because to reach that far without pulling a muscle, you're doing a lot of stretching.
Look, I hear you – but it’s HIS birthday. If he doesn’t want to put effort into planning it and is happy to show up and just wing it, that’s his prerogative!
At this point, you’re the one that wants to make it into something more. I 100000% relate to you here, but it’s his birthday and he doesn’t want to put work into it so unless you’re willing to do all the work as part of your gift – drop it! Do you! Show up with the cake and your own food and have a good time.
Then plan something amazing for your birthday!
(I’m not sure this could work for you if your bf is unwilling to put in any work for birthdays ever- but my boyfriend and I plan each others birthdays. Aka I never plan any part of mine. He does it all. And for his birthday, I do it all. It’s usually a complete surprise but we know eachother well enough to know what to plan. Many of them have been surprised parties with friends and many others are just renting a swanky spot for the weekend or doing a crazy activity.
It’s the best, because when your birthday is coming up you don’t have to do anyyyything but enjoy it.
Sharing that in case your bf is the type that hates planning stuff for himself but would enjoy doing something nice for you.)
I'm 42 and have been with my wife for 15 years now. This is not at all abnormal. Sometimes they blend together, sometimes they are so unimportant they don't leave any impression whatsoever. Sometimes, you just don't care enough in the moment for any of it to register at all.
I'm guessing she likes to bring up the argument days or even weeks after it's been resolved, and that's when you are struck with the fact that you don't remember? Guaranteed that only happens with arguments where it was eventually determined that she won, so just apologize and move on.
If you've both never had penetrative sex before are you sure a strap on is the way you want to go?
Having you use a strap-on on her is kind of giving you a bit if a power imbalance, you'd be penetrating her rather than doing things equally if that makes sense?
I suggest switching it out for a double ended dildo that you can both ride together. That way you'd both be being penetrated at the same time by each other. It makes things more equal (and tbh more enjoyable I've used a strap and it was pretty boring).
If you will regret not asking her down the line YES! Sometimes it is worth it to put your friendships in jeopardy when they’re about to make a monumental decision that you truly don’t agree with because you dont think it’ll make them happy.
Well said!
I'd really like to know where some of the commenters online where their MH system is so amazing that they can just drop them off at the clinic and all is well?
You drop her off at the ER here, she's waiting 12+ hrs, especially if the crisis team has gone home for the night. That's a long hard wait in a GOOD headspace let alone if you're in crisis. Then, 9 times out of 10, you'll be told there are no beds or admitting you would be more harmful than beneficial for you, and that they'll refer you to mental health which will take 6, 12, 18 months.
One of my clients was just turned away from a residential treatment program because they didn't have a solid enough support system for goodness sake
Like… the system is broken, people are begging for help. I wish it was as easy as these comments make it seem – one person can only do so much and they absolutely can't do it to their detriment. Boundaries are so, so necessary and can only help everybody involved.. but let's not forget the social determinants of health and our hierchy of needs which includes belonging/support
Men prefer women who are not overweight/obese.
If you can't even work on your weight, that's proof to a man that you don't love your body.
Being overweight gives you in the long run massive health problems and destroys you mentally.
80% of america is overweight, majority of all deaths are from heart attacks.
Also stop being so sensitive.
Thanks for the insight!
I am currently in therapy and I’ve brought up couples counseling to they but they refuse to go saying that we can figure it out ourselves. I do think you’re right and that’s the only way to fix our marriage but I don’t know how to get them to go. If you know of anyway to convince them that our marriage is important enough to seek help, please let me know. Thank you!
This sub has some of the dumbest questions I’ve seen
Ban BIL from the house, tell your husband immediately. This is very time sensitive.
You're not being paranoid, you're being shallow. Just move on to someone else.
You love everything about her? That statement would include the way she lies her ass off, talks to other guys behind your back, and the general feeling she can't be trusted.
You must have met this girl at yoga class because to reach that far without pulling a muscle, you're doing a lot of stretching.
I'd say my key issue is her not caring enough to help me cook.
Look, I hear you – but it’s HIS birthday. If he doesn’t want to put effort into planning it and is happy to show up and just wing it, that’s his prerogative!
At this point, you’re the one that wants to make it into something more. I 100000% relate to you here, but it’s his birthday and he doesn’t want to put work into it so unless you’re willing to do all the work as part of your gift – drop it! Do you! Show up with the cake and your own food and have a good time.
Then plan something amazing for your birthday!
(I’m not sure this could work for you if your bf is unwilling to put in any work for birthdays ever- but my boyfriend and I plan each others birthdays. Aka I never plan any part of mine. He does it all. And for his birthday, I do it all. It’s usually a complete surprise but we know eachother well enough to know what to plan. Many of them have been surprised parties with friends and many others are just renting a swanky spot for the weekend or doing a crazy activity.
It’s the best, because when your birthday is coming up you don’t have to do anyyyything but enjoy it.
Sharing that in case your bf is the type that hates planning stuff for himself but would enjoy doing something nice for you.)
I'm 42 and have been with my wife for 15 years now. This is not at all abnormal. Sometimes they blend together, sometimes they are so unimportant they don't leave any impression whatsoever. Sometimes, you just don't care enough in the moment for any of it to register at all.
I'm guessing she likes to bring up the argument days or even weeks after it's been resolved, and that's when you are struck with the fact that you don't remember? Guaranteed that only happens with arguments where it was eventually determined that she won, so just apologize and move on.
If you've both never had penetrative sex before are you sure a strap on is the way you want to go?
Having you use a strap-on on her is kind of giving you a bit if a power imbalance, you'd be penetrating her rather than doing things equally if that makes sense?
I suggest switching it out for a double ended dildo that you can both ride together. That way you'd both be being penetrated at the same time by each other. It makes things more equal (and tbh more enjoyable I've used a strap and it was pretty boring).