So, women, who probably have already had their share of trauma and terrible coping skills, have created and passed on the trauma of being an unwanted child to the next generation.
I’m just sad for all these children who haven’t grown up with the security many of us have from having loving & stable parents. And I’m sad for these mothers who didn’t have the wherewithal to care for the children.
If the kids haven’t formed close attachments to a reliable adult in the first three years it puts them at such great risk of poor mental health and poor resilience etc. The whole thing is just sad.
I wouldn’t worry too much about your husband’s past sex life but I would worry about what sort of role he will have in his children’s lives. He won’t find time to hang out with strippers if he takes his parental responsibilities seriously.
Muslim here it’s sad to hear this it’s deeply upsetting how this has took you away from Islam when it has nothing to do with Islam, culture culture culture it’s always the reason that people drift away from Islam, the truth is that most of our parents grew up in toxic house holds where talking about feelings is looked down upon thus projecting that on their children.
Just because someone prays doesn’t make them a good Muslim, I’m islam you should be kind to your children and speak softly as to not upset one another.
I grew up in a Muslim household without a father but I didn’t learn how to pray till I was like 18 I’m 22 now, everytime I’ve tried to put my trust in anything other than Allah swt it’s always fallen through, if you’re far away from Islam and upset that’s Allah swt calling you back build that connection with him better yourself and love yourself because if you leave your heart in the hands of others there’s always a chance they’ll drop it.
Regarding your family be kind even if they aren’t to you, if I felt hatred for every person that hurt me I’d be no better than them the truth is why let others destroy the person you are and stop you from being the amazing person I know you can be, they may think you’re dumb but that’s their opinion it doesn’t take anything away from you if you don’t let it, you could also be smart at one thing but bad at another you can’t expect a cheetah to win a race in the water, there’s things we’re all good and bad at.
I hope this has helped somewhat I’m always here if you ever wanna talk I wish you nothing but the best in life and will pray for your success may Allah swt keep you safe and happy
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You didn't do anything wrong in asking him what he was drinking, although continuing to push him about the issue right then while he was irrationally upset about a pretty basic routine question was maybe not the best judgment call. I'd let him calm down for a day or so and then sit down with him and ask him about his irrational and bizarre reaction to your question about his drink and the reason he refused to tell you what he was drinking, and go from there. If he refuses to discuss his behavior with you, that's a pretty serious red flag to me.
You're the one in this relationship, and only you know if it's truly a good relationship for you, but after two years, you're saying he's a “closed book”, “doesn't like to open up”, and “doesn't really like talking about things”. You're not describing someone I'd want to be in a relationship with. I need to be able to discuss issues openly with my partner and resolve them to have a healthy relationship, and it doesn't sound like that's something he is willing to do with you.
The only part of where he will live! that you should be worried about is “not here”. He sounds like a dead fish.
As for the pets, do they have a favorite? Perhaps where he goes (or where you go) won't allow pets. TBH, the pets should be the hardest part of the breakup, but don't let them stop you from taking out the trash!
That’s fine, but that level of anger and passive-aggression isn’t healthy in a relationship. Which, it seems, is more the point the person you responded to was getting at.
I would talk to your PO if you have one, your lawyer or your local PD and get it on record that she is trying to reach out to you. And ask what your options are that she is trying to contact you and you are trying to follow the order.
Just to add – it was a learned behavior from his mother. Until I pointed this out and what he was actually doing was manipulation, he didn't realize it. I had to break it down and use actual examples of times when his mother did this to him and his brothers for him to see.
The talk about sex thing is not the deal breaker here. Girls talk to each other and maybe what she said was true or maybe not. The cheating bit is the problem. She did it then. She has probably done it again since.
Make sure she only takes her money that she deposited out of the joint account. If she wants everything equal 50 /50 that means she will have to start contributing equatorial you and she will probably hate it and try to backpedal.
Start going with them. Talk to your boyfriend and create boundaries. It's up to him whether or not he wants to be her friend, and if he's openly disrespecting the relationship, you should reconsider being with him.
I can show proof I’m pregnant and show both of our ages from ID’s. I have no reason to make this up.
Some need it to cool down. But the way he ignores your feelings and the other things you have written, he sounds like a terrible partner.
So, women, who probably have already had their share of trauma and terrible coping skills, have created and passed on the trauma of being an unwanted child to the next generation.
I’m just sad for all these children who haven’t grown up with the security many of us have from having loving & stable parents. And I’m sad for these mothers who didn’t have the wherewithal to care for the children.
If the kids haven’t formed close attachments to a reliable adult in the first three years it puts them at such great risk of poor mental health and poor resilience etc. The whole thing is just sad.
I wouldn’t worry too much about your husband’s past sex life but I would worry about what sort of role he will have in his children’s lives. He won’t find time to hang out with strippers if he takes his parental responsibilities seriously.
hahaha this is how rich folk stay rich 🙂
Use that money on something worthwhile.
You have a lot to learn
Muslim here it’s sad to hear this it’s deeply upsetting how this has took you away from Islam when it has nothing to do with Islam, culture culture culture it’s always the reason that people drift away from Islam, the truth is that most of our parents grew up in toxic house holds where talking about feelings is looked down upon thus projecting that on their children.
Just because someone prays doesn’t make them a good Muslim, I’m islam you should be kind to your children and speak softly as to not upset one another.
I grew up in a Muslim household without a father but I didn’t learn how to pray till I was like 18 I’m 22 now, everytime I’ve tried to put my trust in anything other than Allah swt it’s always fallen through, if you’re far away from Islam and upset that’s Allah swt calling you back build that connection with him better yourself and love yourself because if you leave your heart in the hands of others there’s always a chance they’ll drop it.
Regarding your family be kind even if they aren’t to you, if I felt hatred for every person that hurt me I’d be no better than them the truth is why let others destroy the person you are and stop you from being the amazing person I know you can be, they may think you’re dumb but that’s their opinion it doesn’t take anything away from you if you don’t let it, you could also be smart at one thing but bad at another you can’t expect a cheetah to win a race in the water, there’s things we’re all good and bad at.
I hope this has helped somewhat I’m always here if you ever wanna talk I wish you nothing but the best in life and will pray for your success may Allah swt keep you safe and happy
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Yes. This is a more sane option than being fake all the time.
You didn't do anything wrong in asking him what he was drinking, although continuing to push him about the issue right then while he was irrationally upset about a pretty basic routine question was maybe not the best judgment call. I'd let him calm down for a day or so and then sit down with him and ask him about his irrational and bizarre reaction to your question about his drink and the reason he refused to tell you what he was drinking, and go from there. If he refuses to discuss his behavior with you, that's a pretty serious red flag to me.
You're the one in this relationship, and only you know if it's truly a good relationship for you, but after two years, you're saying he's a “closed book”, “doesn't like to open up”, and “doesn't really like talking about things”. You're not describing someone I'd want to be in a relationship with. I need to be able to discuss issues openly with my partner and resolve them to have a healthy relationship, and it doesn't sound like that's something he is willing to do with you.
The only part of where he will live! that you should be worried about is “not here”. He sounds like a dead fish.
As for the pets, do they have a favorite? Perhaps where he goes (or where you go) won't allow pets. TBH, the pets should be the hardest part of the breakup, but don't let them stop you from taking out the trash!
So you commented to me that you didn't say he needs to get over it above and now you're repeating it. Do you just love the woke echo chamber
Ghost him for 2 months as well ???
That’s fine, but that level of anger and passive-aggression isn’t healthy in a relationship. Which, it seems, is more the point the person you responded to was getting at.
Feelings are not good or bad, they just are. How you handle them is what dictates “good” or “bad”.
Smashing things, shutting down, taking emotions out on people are not healthy mechanisms for dealing with things.
Me personally? I love a man that expresses emotions. My husband is great at it most of the time.
I would talk to your PO if you have one, your lawyer or your local PD and get it on record that she is trying to reach out to you. And ask what your options are that she is trying to contact you and you are trying to follow the order.
15yrs
Just to add – it was a learned behavior from his mother. Until I pointed this out and what he was actually doing was manipulation, he didn't realize it. I had to break it down and use actual examples of times when his mother did this to him and his brothers for him to see.
You can apologize through your actions.
The talk about sex thing is not the deal breaker here. Girls talk to each other and maybe what she said was true or maybe not. The cheating bit is the problem. She did it then. She has probably done it again since.
Imagine being this clueless. If you want to address her being self conscious, do that, and support whatever decision she makes.
So why do you assume OP's boyfriend is lying? YT decided that he might like these videos, but that doesn't mean he interacted with those exact videos.
Make sure she only takes her money that she deposited out of the joint account. If she wants everything equal 50 /50 that means she will have to start contributing equatorial you and she will probably hate it and try to backpedal.
He says it’s not the last minute because he hasn’t got a place yet…. Sigh no not really
Start going with them. Talk to your boyfriend and create boundaries. It's up to him whether or not he wants to be her friend, and if he's openly disrespecting the relationship, you should reconsider being with him.