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Date: October 16, 2022
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Any advice?
At the right time, when your thoughts are more settled, tell your boyfriend what happened.
If he really is worth being the love of your life, he'll find a way to absorb this event into your relationship without blowing it apart.
On the other hand, if he flies off the handle and wants to break up… well, that's a different story, and the relationship might not be as strong (and your boyfriend might not be as secure) as you had hoped.
I suspect the real answer lies somewhere in between those two possible outcomes.
The sex better be astronomical because you are getting with one cheap bastard
If he can get in your pants he can put his hand in his pocket
Love comes in various forms.
What you are describing missing is infatuation which gets people together, but does not keep them together. It sounds like you are building a loving relationship without having had to go through the infatuation stage with all it's BS. Like you leapfrogged all the confusion and uncertainty, and went right to the compatible relationship part.
The Hollywood style falling in love infatuation is mostly an illusion of hormones, which prevents people from seeing the true partner. When they finally do see through it, it is usually a disappointment to find out the other person is only human, and that is the cause for many breakups.
First, that's not how it works. Noah wouldn't be your brother in law. He'd be your brother in law's brother, and that's assuming they actually get married which isn't as much of a guarantee as you think.
Regardless, your general premise isn't exactly unreasonable. It'd be a complex situation to date Noah whether your sister and her boyfriend work out or not. To be honest, your example would be the least of my concerns from your perspective. If they don't work out, it has very little to do with you. Noah isn't his brother. You could see him and not have to create a situation where your sister's (hypothetical) ex is always around. That wouldn't have to happen.
The real concern is whatever the dynamic ends up being as it relates to your relationship with Noah. If all is good, awesome. But what if it's not? If you can part amicably, great, and life goes on. But what if you don't? What if you have a horrible break up? Do either of you get your siblings involved which likely creates tension? As an extreme example to drive the point home, let's say Noah is abusive. You rightfully leave and are open about it with your sister. What would your sister logically do? Discuss it with her partner. Maybe she demands he cut him off. But he doesn't because he loves his brother. Now they're fighting.
Again, I know that's extreme, but those are the sort of things that could happen in terms of the impact your relationship has on theirs. It might all work out beautifully. But it might not. It's definitely high risk and the best advice is more likely than not that you shouldn't pursue it. But if you have feelings for him, what can we do? Just be careful. Good luck.
go bang a 21yr old urself…
You do understand if I wanted him I would have been had him right? How can I be jealous
She has been messaging me all day saying everything I want to hear and that we are meant to be together and that she has all the time for me, I know I can’t be either her but it really breaks me