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A partner should be a source of strength, not a source of insecurity or stress. You gotta decide if being with her is worth her effect on your self image. Personally, I'm so vain I would've broken up with her on the spot lol
This right here. Reddit has no shortage of incredibly hurt people who are great at giving advice on how to create more hurt.
100% agree with your current partner and I would expect the same if I were her. Glad she’s being smart.
Nothing to be embarrassed about you took a shot doesn’t sound like it’s going to work out. Leave it be if she brings it up again then it’s meant to be.
In the future try something like hey would you like to go for a coffee sometime? Here’s my number shoot me a text if you are free sometime, no pressure
It kind of sounds like he's not necessarily creepy, he just literally thinks you're already in a relationship. Communicate and clarify.
I mean you do get people in the UK with African accents, so he still could of been living in the UK but when he couldn't give the name of an airport and I think gave the name of a carpark instead, I was like yeah no he is a scammer
You met these people through a common interest, and are pursuing an activity together that's pretty close to this interest. There's nothing weird about that.
It's not like you saw a random group of girls in their early twenties and said 'i need to get involved with these people ASAP'.
My Nan is incredibly messy and I've heard a ton of stories about it from my mum. It was so dirty I went in once growing up. Her three daughters turnt out being: 1) messy and a bit dirty, 2) disgustingly dirty bordering needing to be burnt down, and 3) (my mother) the cleanest person you've every met.
Don't judge her by her parents lack of cleanliness
This is the wisest choice. You have moved on in your life. Tearing open old wounds is rarely a good idea.
I also went through the pill addiction. The people who loved me would have done anything for me to get clean at that time.
I didn’t go to rehab and went on suboxone, did NA, etc. but some people really need that structure from rehab in order to be successful. Getting clean and/or sober is a different path for every person.
But that’s besides the point, the person that you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with should absolutely be supportive of you in this and is acting incredibly selfish. We are talking about your life(esp w fentanyl in everything now),literally, versus a little extra work and/or inconvenience for her. She should be fucking stoked that you want help on your own, since that is very hot for addicts to come to terms with and actually carry out.
I would also think that rehab would be beneficial for you specifically in this scenario, since I have a strong feeling once you’re thinking clearer you’ll see how fucked up she’s acting. You want to spend your life with someone who can’t tough it out without you for a few months in order to save your own? Really makes me question her commitment. Yeah, it sucks not being able to see and feel the person you love because they’re far away, but if anything that should strengthen your relationship because you’re committed to making it work even if it hurts being apart. People work out being apart for a myriad of reasons, despite it being difficult at times, bc the other person is worth the struggle.
It also makes me nervous for you bc you will find, especially in the first weeks then months of getting clean, that in order to succeed you need to be selfish and put staying clean above everything else. Is she going to be supportive of that? Idk dude, I think focusing on yourself is what is necessary here, it’s a shame that she doesn’t seem to grasp-or care, ab how important this is. Best of luck.
OP, red flags all around. Someone who can't control his anger like this and is starting to turn it on you? What would you tell a friend who had told you this story?