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Date: October 4, 2022
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Also she has said that some times depending on how she is feeling mentally and physically certain other things need to happen before she can really get into it. So if she is had a rough day at work she may need more oral stimulation before we get into something else. I usually start out with kissing and moving around her neck and ears then down and work on oral to get a gauge on what she is receptive to then move from there. Just gotta figure out what feels right for you.
I think she knows that
It’s okay to make space and take time to lick your wounds. You don’t have to shut down your emotions to support her. You take the time you need and when you want you can look to heal the friendship with new boundaries. You shouldn’t be her only support you need support to.
Hm, well it's naked for to me answer. There are people with auto-destructive tendencies. By which I mean they feel inadequate if nothing particular is going on or there aren't problems to deal with. It's something people from abusive households can have in them. In this variant she would like you and spending time with you ,but something in her would make feel like unsatisfied exactly, becasue there aren't major issues between you. As I said auto-destructive tendencies that result in sabotaging their own relationship. I do not mean this is the case, here. I just wanted to let you know people can be complicated. Of course there are more possibilities, but I am not a seer so I will limit myself to this possibility.
It is just very hot to even think of leaving when he is all I have ever known as far as relationships go. I always thought that whoever I married I would be with until the day I died, and they would be my best friend throughout. He thinks that now (the last few months) that he is putting more effort in, that I should give him a chance to show me he can be what I need. Idk. I still care about him, you know?
I understand that, however, your bf clearly has no idea what he's talking about, and tbh, I don't understand how you still feel this calm after everything your bf told you.
Have you both got wills? What happens in a medical emergency? Who's listed as next-of-kin and will be able to make any medical decisions? Have you got life insurance? How are you able to get any other benefit of marriage without being married?
Just break up with her. Say you can’t offer her the relationship she deserves, don’t give her hope, just cut it off. If you do anything else you’ll hurt her even more. Don’t be a coward about this, and get away from her. Then, if you truly feel bad for doing this, I hope you’re signing yourself into therapy the second the relationship is over.
Is this the first time you’ve ever told her you were suicidal?
My guess is, she's already seeing the strains in the relationship but she doesn't want anybody telling her “I told you so.”