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That’s a good idea. It would take the “burden” off of me while encouraging him to be more involved. Relationships are naked ugh
Speaking from experience, now would be the best time to introduce the concept of couples therapy cause it would only get worse. There is new patterns are introduced and practiced.
This is what I figure is going on. He's successful in academia and wants to build the education of their children because of this.
She sounds like a psycho.
Definitely not with a 5 hour drive
There are several ways to deal with this. 50/50 clearly isn't a good idea and you both seem to agree on that. Him paying his own rent is a good idea as it is an amount he is already accustomed to. Another idea is to split expenses by income, so if you earn 5x of what he does, then you pay 5/6 and he pays 1/6. This is what me and my partner do, with a joint account for all common expenses. One put £3 and the other put £2 for every £5 we need, as that is our difference in pay.
Alternatively, anything in between these options. He doesn't seem unreasonable so really suggest what you are comfortable with and trust that he will do the same. At the end of the day he needs to feel like he has some money that is his own, without you paying for everything.