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Inkedbabyy, 26 y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: December 21, 2022
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That's exactly that. It's like an addiction: It takes time and efforts to get out of it, and get back to it only makes it harder to stop
The thing about liars is they’re really good at lying. When you brought up the Bumble thing it should have immediately been deleted, but she had such a good line and you believed her. Don’t fall for it twice.
Don’t you get tired of apologising all the time? I mean… stop doing all these things for which you have to apologise. At some point, apologies become meaningless especially when you keep doing the same things over and over.
Long distance can heighten your feelings for someone. You don’t know him, his habits at home, how he treats you with family, etc.
Seems risky.
I think you should ask her if you can postpone the wedding until things improve and get to couples counseling. I went to couples counseling with a guy I had been dating for a year and was arguing with and we are now happily married for 5 years. I think your baby deserves one last try.
You want us to tell you how to persuade her to ‘let you’ show emotion, but you’re also saying you have spoken to her about this already and she won’t change.
What do you think we could say that you can’t or haven’t already??
Saying “I don’t see anything wrong with crying when I am remembering my dear friend ” ONCE should be enough for her to never behave like this again.
People are sometimes raised with different values, or strange ideas, but the brutal truth is if she respected you or loved you, she would have questioned her behaviour, if not her opinion, right away.
If she won’t listen you you – her partner, who is hurting – nothing we say can get her to listen either.
We CAN say you should get out of the relationship because it’s no way to on-line, unless you want to feel like you do know for the rest of your life. You are only 24. You have a world of opportunity and time to meet someone who doesn’t verbally and psychically assault you. This is a bad relationship. It will not get better, it will only get worse. Get out, because you deserve love and respect.
Losing someone, feeling pain, sorrow, sadness and loss are part of life – and I’m sorry to say they will all happen to you, many times. Can you seriously stand to spend the rest of your life with someone who will not be there for you through all of that? Or for their child?! And expect them to hide their emotions? Who lashes out when they don’t like a perfectly normal emotion? Who does not let someone react to even a sad movie?
This is a recipe for disaster, and statistically why many young men suffer mental health issues and resort to suicide. Nobody can contain their emotions indefinitely.
Humans – including men – cry for a reason. We evolved to cry because the act of crying is a mental reboot and a physical release. Ever heard of “crying yourself to sleep”, or wonder why you yawn when you cry?? It’s because it is soothing. Humans are designed to cry. If men were not supposed to cry, millions of years of evolution would have stopped them.
Seriously. Get out of this relationship. And run, don’t walk.
Gray Rock her next time. And don’t avoid her. Walk right up and say “can I help you find anything today, ma’am?”
Any time she tries to shift the conversation to something personal don’t reply, and shift the conversation back to the business or products of the shop you work at.
Don’t not give her the satisfaction of a meaningful or memorable encounter. Be the Gray Rock.