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Date: October 23, 2022
women are commonly expected to accept a man “getting it out of his system” Did she choose you or someone else?
There’s little point in engaging on the topic of the gun. Make it clear to your mom that he carries and give her the option of not bring around him if and when he does. Pretty straightforward.
But he is my crush's friend. Also I think he is not the type of guy who would have feelings for his friend's crush. By the me and my crush both like each other?
I'm not saying it's entirely irrelevant, I'm saying bringing it up to her isn't going to be productive and will just make her feel like she's having her past thrown in her face. He doesn't know if she was ever the initiator with people in the past. There's nothing to be gained from bringing up either of their past sex lives, the discussion needs to be focused on their current one with each other.
That’s probably true, I overthink a lot, thank u for the advice!
THEY NEVER CHANGE YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS OUT OF THERE AND GET PROOF OF THE ABUSE BECAUSEIF YOU DON'T DO THIS AND THOSE AND YOUR KIDS GET HERT THE KIDS WILL BLAME YOU FOR NOT GETTING THEM OUT OF THERE
Maybe you should move if it’s possible, maybe stay with friends or family in the meantime
You've aged out. Why are you dating guys that were teenagers when you were born. Please don't give me the “more mature” shit. You have some childhood trauma you need to deal with. Get help for that.
23 and 18 is not bad at all. You have some weird issues in your life if you think that’s bad.
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Not every place has common law. He doesn’t want to marry her so going down to the courthouse isn’t really an option. People can want a marriage and a wedding, there’s nothing wrong with having a big celebration. It’s common in many cultures.
But the fact that he used that insult now makes me think he sees it as a demeaning act that I should be ashamed of or offended by.
Sounds like a valid argument. He said 'suck my dick' to offend you and now he is mad that his statement offended you?
Long story short, he said I was 'insane' to think that
He doesn't sound like a nice guy.
Previously I felt like I was doing in on my own terms, which was empowering and exciting. Now it just feels demeaning.
I can imagine that you feel like that. FWB should be about having fun with each other. You're not having fun anymore. Time to find someone else.
I would add that it may be less about catching cancer and more about the second thing you mentioned, that illness is often a turn off. I doubt he loves her any less, but he may see her as someone to take care of of and dote on right now rather than someone to have sex with
My parents are immigrants from Europe so they do have a different way of thinking than Americans. I’m stuck in the middle and I see both ways of thinking
Yes!!! Clear, honest communication is kind. Lying to be rarely benefits anyone in the long term.
I don't think you understand the whole situation.
If she is in college, colleges hire students for different positions and some might even be more relevant for future employment than working as a waitress. Colleges even have temp positions.
Your girlfriend has already broken up with you. That's why she said don't wait for her when you guys “took a break.” She was dumping you without having to say she was dumping you, likely because she was struggling with how to do it since your relationship started young. Don't pursue her. If she's talking to you about important stuff, it's just to be friendly.
I’m sorry for the bad news about your mom.
I think the shock and sadness has skewed your expectations of what is appropriate and reasonable.
He asked if you wanted him to come when it was feasible for him to make the 2 hour ride. Later you picked a fight and were unkind THEN expected him—mid fight—to drop everything and travel two hours to you at 11:30 at night.
You’re being very unreasonable.
I get that you’re hurting but lashing out at others is not okay. Expecting someone to travel just to be emotional support in the middle of the night in a non emergency is not okay.
I have nothing but questions.
Why do you want to buy a place with your new GF when you aren't even divorced yet? Surely you should wait until you're properly divorced, otherwise your wife could claim a stake in the new house too.
Why are you treating your wife like a child? If you'd died instead of separating, she'd have had to learn to deal with the bills. She needs to learn to do her finances. I hate dealing with money but I go over our finances with my partner regularly, because I have a recurring nightmare that he will get crushed by a lorry and I need to be able to deal with everything if ever he is not there.
I get that you need to help your wife financially because she earns less after being a SAHM, and she is raising your children. But why offer your wife a mortgage-free home? Do you think you can get her a house and a house with your new GF and still get by financially? Will you be paying for her mortgage??? Why can't she find a smaller house? Your kids are teens, they won't be around for long, she doesn't need a house big enough for a whole family any more. You said you lost your well-paid job, have you found something else since?
Just go fuck the gym bro and tell the not yet bf you “really like” it’s not gonna work out. He doesn’t wanna be plan b to this guy anyways if he knew. If you stay with the nit yet bf and you’re still thinking about sexy gym guy you wanna bang that’s a recipe for a true disaster down the line. Right now you’re being mean and kind of inappropriate. If you stay with the guy you’re seeing and cheat with gym guy(which is 95% going to happen) then you’re a pos and a cheater.
It wasn't planned to be temporary.
You spelling sexual assault wrong
You spelling sexual assault wrong
Guess I never believed it would be this way. Guess we all learn
The court has a way of calculating how much. It can’t be half your paycheck. You need money to survive, too.
It’s been a slow decline over time, it wasn’t overnight. It started with him going out with his friends more, then using drugs, then staying off work because he was taking drugs, then doing drugs alone, i tried to help during all of this. I’d say from when I was around 4 months pregnant
Your boyfriend is an emotionally manipulative asshole.
Don't have a strategy.
Not playing the game is the only strategy here.
Become some ultra Zen higher plane human.
Your gf doesn’t sound very smart
Stay firm. If she wants to have sex with other people then you can’t be together. That’s incredibly reasonable.
youre same age as me. move on. dont be tied down to a woman like that. she maybe a freak in the sheets but she is NO wifey.
look upwards and onwards, mah boy
Before you get a therapist I think you need a PI
No point doing couples therapy if he's cheated on you cus that's divorce bells
It's always funny to me when someone says they want a lot of children but they don't have experience with kids. I taught preschoolers, and while rewarding, it was nightmarish at times because that's just how kids are sometimes. They're growing, they're testing boundaries, they have poor emotional regulation, they're messy and loud, everything is the worst thing that's ever happened to them before so it's a Big Deal (and thus a larger reaction).
Ask why he decided on that number. Ask why he thinks it's a good idea, how expensive he thinks it'll be, who he thinks will be doing the childcare (and if he says you'll split it, ask him what he thinks goes into childcare), and who he thinks will be managing the housework. His answers and reaction to you pointing out flaws in his thinking will tell you whether it's worth continuing a relationship or not. If he's in denial about it and doesn't want to listen to reason, that's a bad sign. If he wants you to be a SAHM and handle all the childcare, that's a bad sign (not that there's anything wrong with being a SAHP, but it's exhausting and it should be a joint decision, not something one party decides). Also, it's your body, your choice. If you want to stop after two, you stop after two. Make sure he understands and respects that, and go into worse case scenarios if you feel the need to, like what would happen if the pregnancy became dangerous to your health, does he think you should stick it out or does he think you need to prioritize your health and life first? Obviously, it's a situation that's hard to know how exactly you'd react until you're in it, but it's worth bringing up to see his stances on these things (and therefore, if your views align and if you trust him)