You kind of sound like me 2 years ago… my ex is a text book narcissist though, and he’s not changing. Ever. I’m not saying your partner is, but if… He uses your struggles against you? ? He throws things he does in your face? ? You send messages about what you want and he acts like nothing came his way? ? He dismisses your needs? ? He tells you YOUR feelings are wrong? ? He calls you a dumb bitch? ????? That’s a 5-Flag minimum in my book – it’s your life – do what makes you happy, but… Are You Happy?
In high school, my then-boyfriend had a best friend we would hang out with. He was always cool and treated me like a friend, never being a creep or hitting on me or anything.
Fast forward almost 15 years, he has started occasionally sending flirty-ramping-up-to-sexual Facebook messages, despite his decade-long marriage being publicly displayed on Facebook. After politely dodging the first few, I straight up asked if he was unhappily married while mentioning my boyfriend (our status was not on Facebook). He apologized profusely for hitting on me when I had a boyfriend (red flag 1) and also said he and his wife were in an open, poly relationship (red flag lowered?).
A year or two later, he and his wife have divorced and he’s married (already!) to a new, younger lady in a new state.
I never knew if he actually did have an open, poly relationship with his first wife, or if he’d just been lying. The fact they split and he got with someone else quickly is pretty leery to me, and I reflected that I did have zero evidence aside from his word that his behavior had been permissible due to non-monogamy.
People change over the years. Some become polyamorous; some become scumbags.
Everyone here is telling you to not tell her but honestly, I think you should if it is causing you to feel so much guilt you know? If you don't tell her you will always think about it. Get it off your chest. I don't think your gf will react badly since you were single at that time, if she does I'm sure you can work it out and if you can't then maybe she isnt the one.
That is awesome!!! Yay!!!
Thanks for the update. This brought me joy.
You kind of sound like me 2 years ago… my ex is a text book narcissist though, and he’s not changing. Ever. I’m not saying your partner is, but if… He uses your struggles against you? ? He throws things he does in your face? ? You send messages about what you want and he acts like nothing came his way? ? He dismisses your needs? ? He tells you YOUR feelings are wrong? ? He calls you a dumb bitch? ????? That’s a 5-Flag minimum in my book – it’s your life – do what makes you happy, but… Are You Happy?
She is dating him, I’m sorry
Get a sleeper couch to replace a couch you have in a living area?
In high school, my then-boyfriend had a best friend we would hang out with. He was always cool and treated me like a friend, never being a creep or hitting on me or anything.
Fast forward almost 15 years, he has started occasionally sending flirty-ramping-up-to-sexual Facebook messages, despite his decade-long marriage being publicly displayed on Facebook. After politely dodging the first few, I straight up asked if he was unhappily married while mentioning my boyfriend (our status was not on Facebook). He apologized profusely for hitting on me when I had a boyfriend (red flag 1) and also said he and his wife were in an open, poly relationship (red flag lowered?).
A year or two later, he and his wife have divorced and he’s married (already!) to a new, younger lady in a new state.
I never knew if he actually did have an open, poly relationship with his first wife, or if he’d just been lying. The fact they split and he got with someone else quickly is pretty leery to me, and I reflected that I did have zero evidence aside from his word that his behavior had been permissible due to non-monogamy.
People change over the years. Some become polyamorous; some become scumbags.
I'm not sure if you can get him to see that! He needs to start with therapy for that issue. But you need to leave him regardless.
Everyone here is telling you to not tell her but honestly, I think you should if it is causing you to feel so much guilt you know? If you don't tell her you will always think about it. Get it off your chest. I don't think your gf will react badly since you were single at that time, if she does I'm sure you can work it out and if you can't then maybe she isnt the one.
Just leave now.
Be thankful he’s telling all of this to you only six months in.