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J A D E, 26 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms J A D E
Date: October 8, 2022
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The stupidity of people saying that they can't afford birth control but then deciding to carry the pregnancy to term and raise a child…really?? Abortion is also cheaper then a kid. You're bringing a child into this world that you can't take care of, with a father that doesn't want them. You're also not thinking how much this additional child will take away from your existing 4 children.
You are entitled to any negative feelings towards her because of the betrayal. These feelings will likely ebb and flow as time passes and you heal. I encourage you to reach out to people in your life (not her) and maintain your momentum in self improvement. Time spent improving yourself will never be wasted.
She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings more, either because she genuinely cares how you feel or she doesn’t want to have more guilt on her conscience, so she will likely be way more friendly and enthusiastic of a friendship than she really is. The future is unpredictable, do not worry about making it include her.
Most of her itemized problems have solutions that she could have thought of herself. Pain pills wearing off in the middle of the night? keep the next dose and a glass of water on the nightstand. There was no reason for her to make you wake up and dose her like a night nurse. How is it insurmountably hot to position ice packs? Why can’t she drink smoothies and shake to keep herself from getting dizzy? It sounds like she wants/needs to be completely doted on when she feels unwell.
And not one bit of her response explains why she couldn’t handle you having your bf over, which was the one thing your’e most bothered about. You gave up your PTO for her and got scolded for wanting to spend a little of that time with your bf? Total BS.
People cope with grief in different ways. The way even you closest family manage may not be the same as the way you do. There is no “correct way” to grieve.
It is also common for the denial/ disbelief stage to run for a while, especially for someone who was so instrument in your life and it is difficult into believe they are gone. It may hit you in a couple days or a couple weeks. Personally, I am usually pretty ok until the funeral but then it hits me.
Secondly, you don’t need to get over her death. She was hugely influential in your life and a constant factor you. Her influence will always follow you and is a huge factor of who you are. That is good and you should be proud of that. I’m sure she is proud of you. You will always miss her, now it will be a show stopper. Over time it will be less (or at least you will manage it better)
You can take comfort in the fact that she lived a full and long life. She was active until just before her death and her suffering was short. She had accepted it was her time. All of these are things that are denied to many people.
Be with your family. Allow yourself and them to cry and be upset and angry. Remember the good memories. Laugh and cry as you need to. Work through it and support each other. This is how you honour her memory.