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Date: October 16, 2022
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OMG – he sounds a complete nightmare.
Get rid – he'll only want to control more of your life as time goes on.
If you got your money back, consider yourself lucky and move on.
bro she's riding to work and you went “let's talk about how I'm a textbook premature ejaculator”
and she explained to you that the terminology was jarring, so I don't have to tell you that it is.
she explained to you why she laughed, stop ignoring her. what are you even asking for?
The more you focus on this issue, the worse it will become.
You may have had an issue with PE a few times at some point when you were younger, but now you've diagnosed yourself and have declared it a lifelong issue.
You have stated
throughout my entire life I'm literally 'two pump chump'..
Which may or may not be true.
But what is true is that our thoughts, the words we say about/to ourselves and the images we make in our minds influence our reality.
They become self-fulfilling prophecies.
And in your case they are exacerbating this issue to the point where you are unable to last 1 minute.
There are so many books and YT videos about the power of our thoughts and how we can use them to change our reality. I'd recommend Marisa Peer as a starting point for you to get some idea of the power of our minds.
She teaches hypnotherapy techniques that can help – either by yourself or with a practitioner who can work with you to resolve the root cause of the issue. (I'm biased as I'm a practitioner but I also wouldn't recommend anything I don't wholeheartedly believe in).
In the meantime, change the narrative. It's a bit 'fake it till you make it' initially but soon it won't be.
Start by speaking kindly and positively to yourself.
You don't have to believe it at first, but you say it anyway. The subconscious doesn't know the difference between positive or negative, a truth or a lie. It just takes it all in.
The more powerful the statement and the more you say it, and picture it, the more it becomes a reality.
Think about how you talk about your PE/ED issues – the emotion you attach to those words, the way it makes you feel, what you believe about yourself as a result. I'm sure it's very powerful and intense.
Now use that to change your experiences.
“I am/have xyz” (kinda like affirmations but it doesn't have to be spiritual).
I have incredible sexual stamina I have unshakeable willpower I am able to enjoy sex for as long as I want I ejaculate at the moment when I choose I last 10 minutes during penetrative sex before ejaculating (change the number but don't go too high as that may be frustrating for you/your partner) I fully satisfy my sexual partner I ensure they achieve orgasm before I do I am a sexual athlete My willpower is like no other I focus on the moment, enjoying the feeling of sex, knowing I ejaculate when I choose And so on
Say them over and over and over. Repetition is key.
Always make the statements present tense, always make them positive, always make them about how you want to feel/be/what you want to do/have.
Always make them powerful.
Interrupt any negative thoughts the moment they arise, and say these positive statements daily.
After a while, you'll start to feel differently, you won't have to force it as much, and you'll start to believe the things you're saying.
And that's when the magic happens because your experiences will be different.
It's psychology and the power of the mind. Our subconscious responds to the words we say and the images we present of ourselves.
Change these and you'll change your experiences.
It usually takes 21-28 days to really see change so start now and see where you're at by the end of January.
Good luck!
You’ve said you’ve both had unhealthy relationships in the past because she’s been abused and you’ve been used. That’s probably very much the case but even so you should both reflect on what didn’t work in those relationships and what you both personally could have done differently so that you don’t carry baggage over.
It’s lovely you’ve found someone to feel so positively about so you need to work to keep that spark there.
Yeah that was super respectful of his boundary… /s
Well consider that your thoughts could break a human beings heart. Take some time to consider.
Ask her for proof. If she can’t give it she’s likely just starting shit.
Also please please tell me you are comfortably set up for having four babies even more so if your world coke come crashing down around you.
One of my ex didn't drink at all. I was partying often during university, but now I just go out for one drink. In the beginning I was happy that he is “a good husband material”. Men in my family drink a lot and I didn't want it. But after sometime, I noticed that it's not possible to have fun with him. His friends didn't invite him, when we went to a concert and everyone was dancing, he was just awkward. There was no funny nights with wine and long talks. Also I felt judged that I want to drink. I love having date night, go out for a drink and flirt in a bar with my bf. It wasn't possible with him. I never thought it may be a problem, but being with him was just too boring.
10 year olds who are friends with benefits? Kids do grow up so fast nowadays.