The statement about being patient was because I told him that I was working on getting the spark back.
That's exactly my point though. You know what's stopping you from getting that spark back. And you've relayed it as “this is a problem I need to fix.”… No, this is a problem he needs to fix.
This right here:
I was losing my own social life because I was spending too much time with him…I wanted him happy and it was difficult to see him so miserable, but it took a toll on me.
10000%. You cannot have a suffocating reletionship. You need balance in your life.
If you have been tip-toeing around this conversation, why not try something different? Be direct about it.
Hey, this reletionship will not work if you suffocate me. You need to fix this about yourself so we can have a chance for survival.
You need to incorporate some urgency/severity into the topic. You do not need to be delicate about this sort of thing.
After that, if he fails to put in effort to resolve it (hobbies, friends, or space in general)… then you have your answer. It was a mistake.
This is horrifying. If you had been horribly, unhealthily obese that would be one thing, because maybe it would be from a place of worry about your health and (admittedly badly expressed concern) that he talks to you like this.
But over 67kg? This man is a shallow asshole. An unsupportive, dreadful human being.
Sorry, but you are selfish. He stayed with you more than a normal partner would and it is still not enough? Keep yourself entertained reading books, watch tv, playing on your handy, playing on a handheld, crocheting… whatever. But don't treat your partner as an emotional support animal. And
In our hospitals you can just have visitors for 2 hours/day. And i think that is enough. A hospital stay is not a fun stay, nobody like them. I need to stay in the hospital like once every year. You count your days till you get home. But don't expect that other put there lufe on standstill for you.
Out of interest: Did you have a single room in the hospital? And all the 24/7 stay is fine with the covid rules?
Ok, I see. That is your decision, and I respect it.
I think making sure she gets mental help has to be the key, though. She needs help, badly, and theres no way this relationship can actually survive without it. Couples counseling is also something you should do so she understands how you feel. You also have to get her to rebuild your trust in her, and you have to hammer that home. She needs to repair the damage she caused, and you have to hold her accountable.
Good luck on all of this, you’re going to need it.
… never a good idea to suggest that your bf uses the toy on you, unless you have previously had discussions about toys.
Also if you wanted one to help with the long distance, you should have looked into one that he can control remotely (or better yet a pair of compatible toys one for you and one for him that you both control remotely) that way not only is he not replaced, he has some level of control, and also hopefully the pleasure of knowing he is pleasuring you.
As for him telling you that you can’t get a toy. Fuck him. You buy a toy, and you use it as much as you want.
Believe it, it happens all the time especially when you’ve been dating since you were in highschool. Don’t fall into the sink coat trap, don’t waste your 20s with this man.
The statement about being patient was because I told him that I was working on getting the spark back.
That's exactly my point though. You know what's stopping you from getting that spark back. And you've relayed it as “this is a problem I need to fix.”… No, this is a problem he needs to fix.
This right here:
I was losing my own social life because I was spending too much time with him…I wanted him happy and it was difficult to see him so miserable, but it took a toll on me.
10000%. You cannot have a suffocating reletionship. You need balance in your life.
If you have been tip-toeing around this conversation, why not try something different? Be direct about it.
Hey, this reletionship will not work if you suffocate me. You need to fix this about yourself so we can have a chance for survival.
You need to incorporate some urgency/severity into the topic. You do not need to be delicate about this sort of thing.
After that, if he fails to put in effort to resolve it (hobbies, friends, or space in general)… then you have your answer. It was a mistake.
This is horrifying. If you had been horribly, unhealthily obese that would be one thing, because maybe it would be from a place of worry about your health and (admittedly badly expressed concern) that he talks to you like this.
But over 67kg? This man is a shallow asshole. An unsupportive, dreadful human being.
Christ. What would happen if you were pregnant??
Oh no baby what is you doing
Sorry, but you are selfish. He stayed with you more than a normal partner would and it is still not enough? Keep yourself entertained reading books, watch tv, playing on your handy, playing on a handheld, crocheting… whatever. But don't treat your partner as an emotional support animal. And
In our hospitals you can just have visitors for 2 hours/day. And i think that is enough. A hospital stay is not a fun stay, nobody like them. I need to stay in the hospital like once every year. You count your days till you get home. But don't expect that other put there lufe on standstill for you.
Out of interest: Did you have a single room in the hospital? And all the 24/7 stay is fine with the covid rules?
Ok, I see. That is your decision, and I respect it.
I think making sure she gets mental help has to be the key, though. She needs help, badly, and theres no way this relationship can actually survive without it. Couples counseling is also something you should do so she understands how you feel. You also have to get her to rebuild your trust in her, and you have to hammer that home. She needs to repair the damage she caused, and you have to hold her accountable.
Good luck on all of this, you’re going to need it.
… never a good idea to suggest that your bf uses the toy on you, unless you have previously had discussions about toys.
Also if you wanted one to help with the long distance, you should have looked into one that he can control remotely (or better yet a pair of compatible toys one for you and one for him that you both control remotely) that way not only is he not replaced, he has some level of control, and also hopefully the pleasure of knowing he is pleasuring you.
As for him telling you that you can’t get a toy. Fuck him. You buy a toy, and you use it as much as you want.
Only a person who is a grommet or apologist would have an issue with people identifying potential areas where someone could be groomed.
Believe it, it happens all the time especially when you’ve been dating since you were in highschool. Don’t fall into the sink coat trap, don’t waste your 20s with this man.