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  1. What does matter (sorry to say) are your finances.

    In addition to this I would add knowledge of the other person's finances in the event missing or erroneous information needs to be challenged.

  2. I used to joke around like that. Here's my experience as it applies to your boyfriend.

    He's not a dick or necessarily transphobic but he is being insensitive. It sounds like he checked in and does not intend to repeat it. He can learn, and it sounds like he's interested in learning. Maturing, I'd say.

    We kind of have to assume pronouns to a degree. If a person is called a non -preferred pronoun, they can politely explain their preferred pronoun to the person. It sounds like that's what the person in this scenario did. Others may get offended and get dramatic – that's a jerk in my book. Really, that's what your boyfriend did, masked as a joke. I get the frustration around identity politics, but his response was kind of trying to get in an “aha, gotcha” comment, which is a jerky thing to do.

    Some people are way too sensitive and enjoy being outraged. You get a lot of that on this sub. So take it all with a grain of salt.

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