I don't like your boyfriend. You may have made some poor choices trying to smooth things over with your family and him, and I think your uncle was overstepping to get involved, BUT – and it's a big but: you say that when you argue, your boyfriend says things that “cut the deepest, and then radio silence.” This doesn't sound like a recipe for a comfortable happy relationship.
Second, you seem very close to your family, and he seems to not want that. He doesn't want to be close to your family, and he doesn't really like it that you are close to your family. I think this complaint he had about your grandmother was contrived on his part as an excuse to not have to be with you and your family together.
Whether you realize it now or not, your family IS precious, and if you are close to them, you should find someone who shares those values, and will want to be a part of your family. Not someone who gives you ultimatums about them and makes excuses about why they don't want to be around them. Let him go. Keep the family. Even keep the dog.
It really was not ok for her to demand, not ask, for you to pay such a bill. I know it was stressful for her but your limits and boundaries matter too. As someone who paid for everything (including the full rent) in a relationship for 13 years and then in the 14th year when I had health issues my partner cheated because she felt neglected that I wasn't taking her out, even though she offered to switch roles herself… don't become a wallet. Your money is not her secret credit card. You are not obligated to pay on demand for things you never offered.
Take a moment for yourself man. Don't buy into the guilt. Don't beat yourself up. Don't go thinking about how to make it up to her when you've done nothing wrong. Go grab a drink or movie with a buddy or do something else for your self care before you go trying to manage her emotions for her. You are not her babysitter nor therapist. If she wants to stay mad, let her stay mad, but don't tolerate mistreatment in the mean time (direct insults, name calling, physical lashing out). If she does any of those, leave and go home or otherwise distance yourself while telling her that being mean isn't something you'll tolerate. Obviously if it's physical you never return and instead call the police.
And maybe she won't stay mad. Maybe she will be willing to discuss her outburst. You don't have to hammer it in and insult her, but you should discuss at some point your boundaries and that expecting you to drop cash on command and be mad if you say no isn't ok. Asking for help is ok, but no means no.
He sounds like a honeymooner. He falls, chases, commits, enjoys it for the honey moon period, then he is over it. Pretty sure your marriage always had an expiry date, you just didnt know about it. As soon as you are divorced, he will probably have worn someone else down to marry him with love bombing and empty promises.
Don’t give up on having a relationship. There are plenty of good men out there who will want a life with you and your kids. Not all men are jerks like your ex.
Well that rules out potential cobalt poisoning. Older model replacements used cobalt as a main ingredient, so an aging replacement could erode and introduce that cobalt to the bloodstream.
Not a doctor so I'm really just speculating. But it sounds like she might have a seizure disorder if the memory episodes resolve after a fainting spell. Especially if she doesn't remember these episodes.
I think before you go for the divorce ultimatum, you should tell your husband that you're not saying what you're saying because you want to hurt his mother, you're saying it because you're worried about her. What if she faints and hits her head on something on the way down? What if she faints when she's holding your baby and nobody is close enough to catch her? Suggest that he takes her to see a neurologist. They're more specialized than the PCPs, and they'll give her a more thorough exam than her concerningly dismissive PCP.
If he refuses, then by all means proceed with the divorce.
He’s not your boyfriend. He clearly doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. I say forget about him, move on to someone else.
I don't like your boyfriend. You may have made some poor choices trying to smooth things over with your family and him, and I think your uncle was overstepping to get involved, BUT – and it's a big but: you say that when you argue, your boyfriend says things that “cut the deepest, and then radio silence.” This doesn't sound like a recipe for a comfortable happy relationship.
Second, you seem very close to your family, and he seems to not want that. He doesn't want to be close to your family, and he doesn't really like it that you are close to your family. I think this complaint he had about your grandmother was contrived on his part as an excuse to not have to be with you and your family together.
Whether you realize it now or not, your family IS precious, and if you are close to them, you should find someone who shares those values, and will want to be a part of your family. Not someone who gives you ultimatums about them and makes excuses about why they don't want to be around them. Let him go. Keep the family. Even keep the dog.
So work on your relationship with your wife and stop pursuing someone almost 20 years younger than you?
It really was not ok for her to demand, not ask, for you to pay such a bill. I know it was stressful for her but your limits and boundaries matter too. As someone who paid for everything (including the full rent) in a relationship for 13 years and then in the 14th year when I had health issues my partner cheated because she felt neglected that I wasn't taking her out, even though she offered to switch roles herself… don't become a wallet. Your money is not her secret credit card. You are not obligated to pay on demand for things you never offered.
Take a moment for yourself man. Don't buy into the guilt. Don't beat yourself up. Don't go thinking about how to make it up to her when you've done nothing wrong. Go grab a drink or movie with a buddy or do something else for your self care before you go trying to manage her emotions for her. You are not her babysitter nor therapist. If she wants to stay mad, let her stay mad, but don't tolerate mistreatment in the mean time (direct insults, name calling, physical lashing out). If she does any of those, leave and go home or otherwise distance yourself while telling her that being mean isn't something you'll tolerate. Obviously if it's physical you never return and instead call the police.
And maybe she won't stay mad. Maybe she will be willing to discuss her outburst. You don't have to hammer it in and insult her, but you should discuss at some point your boundaries and that expecting you to drop cash on command and be mad if you say no isn't ok. Asking for help is ok, but no means no.
He sounds like a honeymooner. He falls, chases, commits, enjoys it for the honey moon period, then he is over it. Pretty sure your marriage always had an expiry date, you just didnt know about it. As soon as you are divorced, he will probably have worn someone else down to marry him with love bombing and empty promises.
Don’t give up on having a relationship. There are plenty of good men out there who will want a life with you and your kids. Not all men are jerks like your ex.
Well that rules out potential cobalt poisoning. Older model replacements used cobalt as a main ingredient, so an aging replacement could erode and introduce that cobalt to the bloodstream.
Not a doctor so I'm really just speculating. But it sounds like she might have a seizure disorder if the memory episodes resolve after a fainting spell. Especially if she doesn't remember these episodes.
I think before you go for the divorce ultimatum, you should tell your husband that you're not saying what you're saying because you want to hurt his mother, you're saying it because you're worried about her. What if she faints and hits her head on something on the way down? What if she faints when she's holding your baby and nobody is close enough to catch her? Suggest that he takes her to see a neurologist. They're more specialized than the PCPs, and they'll give her a more thorough exam than her concerningly dismissive PCP.
If he refuses, then by all means proceed with the divorce.
Finding it ridiculous that someone needs penetration for emotional fulfillment is not misandry lmfao do you even know what that means?