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♥, double squirt♥ [829 tokens remaining]
Date: October 16, 2022
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If the child's father dies before he/she is an adult, his/her mother will take care of him/her. Duh.
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You can't save what's already dead.
Your wife left you behind well over a year ago and moved on to someone else. She doesn't love you, she doesn't love her children, she blames you for her shortcomings, she's been cheating on you for a good while now, she doesn't respect you, and she's been taking you for granted for years.
Let the other guy have her. Give her what she wants and remove her completely from your life and the lives of your children. Let your kids know (in age appropriate ways) that their mother don't love them anymore and wanted to be “free from her responsibilities.” And once she's gone and the divorce is over, make sure she can have no contact with you or the kids. Keep her horrible and toxic personality and behavior away. Then, when her little fantasy world of freedom crashes down around her and she tries to come back, you can make sure she stays away and doesn't cause you or your kids any more harm.
You put that response the OP should use.
Tell her. It's going to be devastating, but not as devastating as it will be (because it WILL be) after she's put in years of marriage and possible has children with this slime ball.
I know it’s cliche for an old experience dater to say to a young man… but don’t overthink it. If you like her and want to know how she feels about you, you can ask her out in a way that gives her an out and doesn’t embarrass you for asking. “If you want to catch up in person, I’d be happy to buy you a coffee or something if you’re interested. No pressure either way :-)” and if she agrees, follow up with a direct question like “are you free x day at x time?” And if she deflects twice, you can assume she’s not interested and gracefully exit the conversation.
But if you do meet up and it goes well, and you’re still feeling a vibe and want to, ask her directly for a date as a follow up and make sure it is worded in a way that she feels safe to decide to say no.
If I were the young woman, this is what I would respond well to if I liked the man. Individual response may vary.
I’m sure it’s difficult being a young man and navigating the social norms of dating. It’s very hot to put yourself out there, but it can be normalized with practice. Wishing the best for you!
He's very selfish. It's that simple. He puts his happiness and what he wants ahead of his wife and family. That's who he is.
Sounds similar to my dad. We never had money for anything and he would get angry about it. Remember getting a good beating around age 7 or 8 when I asked to join cub scouts because it was going to cost money that we didn't have. He then beat my mom for supporting the idea and trying to defend me. Interesting that there was always enough money for drugs, albums, or someplace he wanted to go. He ended up leaving us for his mistress because he was “in love” and she made him happy. We clearly had enough money for his affair.
You are allowed to feel however you feel. However, keep in mind, prior to you two becoming exclusive, there was no agreement to monogamy between you two. It is unfair for you to hold her to monogamous expectations prior to your agreement on this.
Your feelings are still valid, but make sure you aren't taking it out on her or unfairly blaming her. You two should absolutely have a conversation about why it makes you uncomfortable.
OPs post history explains a lot. She needs therapy, for her daughters sake.
My aunt married a 28 year old at 20 and they’ve been married for 43 years. If you let this opportunity go based on the opinions of people on reddit that’s a sign of immaturity on your part.
Yeah, I am an extrovert. He prefers to stay home and I really like it too but I also need to go out often lol. I think I agree with you. It’s not like he’s “lacking my attention” though – I spend most of my time with him and I love letting him explain to me his favourite video games, playing with him and making food with him. And spending time alone with him makes me the happiest ever. If he’s insecure maybe I should tell him that.