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RIDE DILDO [919 tokens remaining]
Date: October 26, 2022
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Sounds like you should end it .. they don’t respect you
You didn't manipulate her but you need to grow up. Being in a healthy mature relationship means compromising. She put everything she wanted to do on hold because YOU weren't comfortable with it. Sure covid might have had an impact on her decision, but I can guarantee that the biggest reason for her delaying it, is you.
From what you have described she has compromised everything about herself, & her life for you but you won't do the same.
I'm doing it to be able to provide for a family later on and for my wife to have the opportunity to decide whether she wants to work or not.
If this is the only reason then you need to reevaluate. Because this isn't healthy. 9/10 people who do this end up miserable before they hit 35 because they don't feel like they've lived enough and end up hitting a horrible mid-life crisis.
Her concept is that Uni is mainly for evolving your personality I think and also to enjoy life while you're young.
She's also doing it so she can be independent on her own if it ever comes to that. And she's right. Uni is about expansion. On your personality. Experiences. Education.
It's about taking time to find who you are & broadening your horizons. It's about living. Learning.
Instead of shutting down because she wants to take a semester abroad, try to see if your major does the same in the same location so you can experience it together. This doesn't need to be a distance thing. Or me or traveling abroad thing.
It can be a you guys together thing. An amazing experience together thing.
My parents who are still married see eachother everyday. So I guess I'm a “clingy” type of relationship guy. I
Its great that your parents seem to be happy together, and while it is good to look at the healthy long term relationships of the people around you & learn from them, don't idolize them.
Because you won't have a relationship like theirs. Because they are not you. And your girlfriend is not them. You are your own people. With your own relationship. And if you keep comparing you'll never be able to make any relationship work.
It's okay to be clingy. But not to the point of being selfish.
I hope this helped.
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Yes it’s terrible and you’re going to destroy your marriage. Just because you’re feeling angry, doesn’t mean you are allowed to by abusive.
Whether it’s your bipolar or whether you’ve never had a healthy living respectful marriage modelled, or whether you’ve just been too arrogant to learn self control … doesn’t matter. It’s a YOU problem and YOU need to fix it.
I suggest seeing a relationship counsellor to start to learn techniques in how you can disagree and resolve problems without being abusive. You also need to get your bipolar checked.
If my husband of 30 years EVER spoke to me as you speak to your wife, I would leave him.
The best part of being married is having someone who you can trust and depend on, someone who just loves you and cares for you, and will stand back to back with you to defend against the attacks of the world !
What’s the point of being married when the attacks come from your own spouse and you need a friend or loving relative to support you emotionally from their abuse?
There are rough edges and there is “I call my GF derogatory slurs when I am angry.” ?
I feel that you can handle that at your level of maturity and experience. The problem is that she doesn't have that. This is where the dynamic would be problematic. There is a possibility she might, “catch feelings”
He wasn’t trying to salvage your relationship when he was cheating on you with his ex.
God. I hate people that hate “fake” boobs. I have fake boobs due to a bilateral mastectomy (I’m 36), and the amount of people that have told me that it’s disgusting I’m partially made of plastic is ridiculous. Girl, tell him to kiss your whole natural ass and kick his him to the curb. There are plenty of men and women that aren’t bothered non-natural breast.
You need to trust your gut here honey.
If the only person who sticks up for him is his partner, why do you feel you need to honour that?
15 years is a long time to love someone, especially as a best friend but honey, sometimes people grow apart. It seems like you're putting way more effort in to this friendship than she is. As hot as it is to end a relationship, ending this one might be for the best.
Tell her plainly that his behaviour has been unacceptable and that he is not welcome at your wedding. You would love the honour of having her stand next to you and you understand that this puts her in a hard place. She is still welcome to bring a guest, just not him. If she chooses not to come or cuts you out of her life, explain that you love her and you'll always be there if she calls you for help. Then walk away.
She will make her choice, either way your wedding will be drama free.
A good therapist can help you through this next chapter, the grief you already feel over the relationship is palpable. It's okay to feel however you need to feel right now. I'm sending you the biggest hug.
You deserve a best friend who puts the same energy into the relationship that you do.
Girl, get out of there. He’s a lost cause.
I’m really sorry you’ve wasted so much of your life on this man, I truly am. But his behavior is not acceptable for a healthy relationship. It almost sounds like a narcissistic partner, but I’m not a professional. I can’t diagnose him.
He obviously hasn’t grown up. You’re unhappy in the relationship, and he isn’t willing to change; you’ve hit a wall. At his age, there’s not much chance of any change happening, especially with how his personality comes across.
You deserve better. So much better. Find someone who will listen to you, compromise with you, change their unhealthy behaviors for you.
I’m sorry but your wife sucks. Maybe it’s why the bedroom activities has been lacking. Don’t let her go off easy. This is serious and her core order encouraging it is a major side eye, like would she cover for your wife?? Idk dude