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Kait, 27 y.o.
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Room subject: Sweetboobss1, ‘s room
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Date: September 29, 2022
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Your going to end up mormon. Godspeed my guy
Sorry yo if this is nude to read my mind is still all over the place
Hugs. I’m sorry he broke your trust. I’m sorry you found out the way you did. I’m sorry your partner is in the hospital in bad shape.
This relationship is over, but what is your path out that is in-line with your values?
I value giving comfort and reducing suffering. I value myself and my emotions too. If I were too hurt and angry to put those feelings aside, I would just walk away. But if I were able, I would be supportive of him and his family until the critical period is over. I think I would regret my actions if I left when I had the capacity to stay. I think I would need the context to process these two huge things going on at once. These are my values though and not yours.
If he makes it through the critical period of the next few days, that is a good time to walk away. I would not personally stay longer. If he doesn’t make it, I would sit with my feelings to see if it would be helpful to me to attend the funeral.
The internet is quick to advise to just leave. But we humans are complex creatures, and that may not be what you need. What do you need for this to end with your values and self-respect intact? What do you need that will help you mentally and emotionally process all this?
It’s ok to feel a lot of conflicting things too. It’s ok to love someone who hurt us – as long as we respect ourselves enough not to continue being hurt. It’s ok to grieve the end of a relationship or a person that wasn’t healthy for us. It’s ok to love and hate someone at the same time. Whatever you are feeling is valid. Go with your gut.
If it was my sister, we are 13 years apart,,, I’d take her and her baby in in a heart beat. And I’d have a serious talk with my husband if he didn’t agree. Hell when my sister was 8 I tried to get custody after some bad shit went down and I was only 21. My sister is also 21 right now, and I wouldn’t even think twice. I’d do the same for my husbands younger sister.
For some, family means different things. I’m not saying enable her. Or don’t encourage her to make a better life for her and her new baby. But blended, untraditional families bring so much love and joy.
If she wants to be so blatant about it, why don't you have her simply google Revenge Porn laws. No, you sharing your pics with her does not equal your consent to have those shared with her friends.
So reverse the roles and imagine her reaction to her nudes being shared with your guy friends. She still going to be so calm and casual about it? I really don't think she would be.
She's violated not only your trust but she's also violated your boundaries and the fact she's insistent that it's not a big deal is wrong and victim blaming you for her own actions.
do not do not do not ever knowingly sleep with someone in a relationship. let her know. you know how much it would hurt if you were cheated on, why are you helping someone hurt their girlfriend?
The problem is that as commenters who are not trained psychologists who have met the guy in person, there is total ambiguity about which it is. Blaming abuse victims is wrong. But so is using abuse victims’ existence as a cover to abuse a partner. No one can tell online.
76% (a large majority) apparently are better at it.
Absolutely this.
why the hell would you want to move to Iran? and bring a woman there no less
I would get proof. And prepare like you would for divorce. Go to an attorney drop divorce papers. I don’t know how you come back from this. Pack him a bag have somebody there with you present the evidence tell him he hast to leave and have them sign divorce papers. Or any variation but yes, I would confront him. I would do it with somebody else or in a safe place and I would present him with proof that’s the first thing and tell him he hast to leave immediately.
I don’t think you understand what you’re in not only with the public shame be almost more than you can bear, but he will be in prison if he’s ever caught.
You do you, buds.
Is there anyone you can stay with? It honestly sounds like he is about to have his buddy rape you to get off. You are not safe.
why is it especially women?
To be fair, my wife of 6 years and I both will randomly ask the other “You're not cheating on me right?”. As we both have had nasty partners in the past and it's nice to have the reassurance said in words. We both trust and love eachother and have built the other up a lot from where we came, but it's nice to just know. This doesn't excuse shit the guy is doing, I'm just saying that it's not immediately a red flag to ask someone not to cheat.
Because they have been together for 7 years. They had a deep connection for a long time and something like this might always have a impact on them even if they broke up and don't a have romantic relationship anymore. 7 years full of memories, up and downs and shared goals. Sounds like very good reason to me wanting to end things in a good and friendly way
Please don’t keep torturing yourself trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves. PTSD is no joke and I don’t think it’s good for your own mental health to be with someone like this. The fact that he deflects taking responsibility for his own behavior and blames that it’s just a reaction to something you’re doing is very disturbing.