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Date: October 30, 2022
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If you really need advice and are at a loss on how to proceed you really need to reevaluate your self worth man…dump her ass like a naked turd.
That’s why I’m annoyed
He doesn’t care if I suffer as long as he is happy and it turned me off
I was thinking about this exact thing…
Absolutely! Please DM any time!
But yes, life has been absolutely amazing after getting out of that relationship. I'm married now and my husband/partner is just such a wonderful person who loves and accepts me for me.
How do you deal with brutality brutal honesty
FTFY
He has opened two, recently (like in the last year) to which he has bought groceries once on one of them when we were struggling bad, most other is spent on leisure.
You striving for bond & validation from your family – give them all the opportunities to do so – and then get hurt again & again when they reject those opportunities. Stop. They don’t worth it.
Stop wasting precious pregnancy moments & your sanity on those ungrateful awful people.
Enjoy your deserved happiness.
Have a shower/gender reveal with your friends & SO’s family – DON’T TELL YOUR RELATIVES, they’ll ruin it & will guilt you for it.
Learn grey-rocking techniques / information diet – currently you yourself giving them weapons to hurt you with.
Generally, cease the contact with your family where they could no longer hurt you that much. Stop striving for their validation. You’re valid. Their approval has nothing to do with your worth.
Someone suggested getting into therapy – I’ll look into that. It can help you address the traumas from such upbringing, explain golden child / scapegoat family dynamics, will help you rewire your thinking & behavior a little, so it won’t be as hurtful anymore & you’ll stop validation-looking from them, it will teach you boundaries & self-space, and most importantly – it will help you create a better life for your child.
Do you want your kids to be as codependent as you? Strive for love from those who’re only willing to hurt them?
Do you want them to constantly be at the loser side in comparisons to their cousins? To be always not good enough, not valid enough, not special enough? Their achievements to be ignored for the sake of their aunt’s & cousin’s ego?
If you don’t want them to grow in the same environment & dynamics as you did and currently on-line in – the change needs to start with you.
You’re used to victim mentality as that’s all you knew – that the position you were put into; but now you just have to shift it. You need to be an author of your life & relationships. You need to become that new you. You need to work on your validation issues, so you can stop asking for validation from them. You need to learn to put boundaries in place & get space from those who didn’t EARN being close to you. You need to be in charge of all that – so your kids can grow in a different dynamic that won’t f them over for life like it did with you.
You’re so strong, mama ? You have a wonderful, loving soul – now you need a boldness to stand up & protect you & your little family.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, wish you and your baby the best ❤️
If he starts to act mean and snappy with you when he is stressed, that's not ok. You need to tell him “It is okay to feel stressed some times, but it is NOT okay for you to take your stress out on me. You need to treat me with respect all the time, not just when you are in a good mood!”
It may also help by setting emotional boundaries for yourself. By this, I mean understanding that you are not responsible for his emotions, you can't control his emotions, and it isn't your job to fix all his problems.