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kata, 25 y.o.
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Date: December 21, 2022
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OPs behaving like a trapped animal.
Get clean, man.
A lot of people just want to be in a relationship at any cost. These people are typically not good people to be in relationships with.
Your right. We just talked about this and he said it’s not up to him to talk to his friend about this. Is it unreasonable at this point for me to expect him to talk to his friend about this behaviour when I’ve tried in the past and it has gotten nowhere?
He told her because, although he says he hasn’t done anything to sabotage his marriage, he WANTED to know if she was an option. This alone is a great way set up to sabotage.
OP, if you really love Jane and can’t imagine your life without her you MUST cut off contact with Daisy. You NEED to focus on your marriage and your wife. If you don’t you are only setting yourself up for a divorce, because your actions so far definitely indicate cheating will happen if you continue.
Daisy is just as bad, as although they MIGHT not have done anything, she didn’t need to tell a married man anything about possibly liking him. Even if he said he was attracted. Staying in contact will lead to nothing good in relation to your marriage.
I will say that given how she reacted to this – in the interest of your relationship you need to start putting yourself out there. There are tons of great ideas on this thread. Use them.
It sounds like she thinks you are, which comes to the same thing for her, but you're both in this and need to find a balance that works for both of you if it's to last.
For now, use this time to let it really sink in and see what comes up for you. If she's prepared to continue when the month's up, aim to stay in the moment as much as possible and just enjoy being spontaneous. In other words, you may need to be unavailable at the last minute a couple of times so she can see that some planning ahead will avoid disappointment.
I'm curious, what was the original argument between him and your grandma?
Yes, you grossly over stepped with the surprise party, you should have respected that boundary. However, I have a feeling there are dozens of red flags you've ignored in this relationship and in time you'll realize this breakup is a blessing.
Yea, this sucks to hear but you can’t be upset with him. He respectfully told you his intentions and you continued on by giving him boyfriend benefits without him being your boyfriend. That’s every man’s dream, especially in college. Stop doing that, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartbreak when it doesn’t actually become a relationship.