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Date: October 9, 2022
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That’s his choice.
You don't owe him a relationship at all, and it would be unfair to both of you to be in one that you don't want. It may also be a dynamic that isn't healthy for either of you long-term if you were struggling both mentally and financially when you met; it can create kind of a “damsel in distress and captain save-a-ho” vibe that can keep you from making progress to get better.
The biggest challenge IMO is being honest and open when it isn't comfortable to do so. It is easier to hide little things about yourself, ignore small problems you have with the other person, let emotions bottle up, etc instead of dealing with the issue.
Sometimes people get into this mindset where having arguments and confrontation in general is a sign that the blissful part is over and now we will be fighting all the time until we break up. In truth, avoiding these discussions is like putting charges on your credit card. You will have to pay it off later with interest.
As a law professional, this is the correct term to use.
Get a child psychologist and start taking your son ASAP.. their reports can be admitted as evidence. They also have a duty to report if your son is unsafe.
Start collecting as much evidence as you can about this alienation attempt – text, email, voicemail and if your allowed where you live!, recorded conversations.
Do you have a custody agreement in place because if the divorce?
I didn’t talk about it when he said but I’m definitely going to bring it up soon.
What I meant with talking about engagement is that he knew from the beginning that he was looking for a long term committed relationship and that he knew from the start I was the one he wanted to marry. Not that we’ve been planning it since we met.
Yes, you should. I agree that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday, but life is too short for that to be a reason for me not to celebrate it. Nothing in this life is guaranteed so seize every moment! Valentine’s Day can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be a dozen long stemmed red roses, a box of chocolate and dinner at a fancy restaurant. Is there something you two might enjoy doing together? A new activity? A type of food you’ve never tried? Even something silly like bowling or mini golf, visiting an arcade, a couples cooking class or one of those paint and sip classes where you drink wine and (try to) make art? Get as serious or as silly about it as you want, but at least invite her to do something because you really do have nothing to lose.
Leave him. This won't get better. it's financial abuse like other abuse that can happen in relationships. With finances, transparency is very important, so everybody is on the same wave length. It's one of the most common reasons people get divorced is over money.
Literally said the same thing after reading that. Lmao
She has probably been doing the same thing to her parents for years. So it's a pattern that's going to continue until it stops working for her. She likely won't change until it has cost her at least a half dozen boyfriends. More likely, she'll just find a spineless boyfriend. Do you want that to be you?
It’s okay. I did request insight because I genuinely can’t tell if my thought process makes sense or not. I struggle with low self esteem and other mental health issues, so I need outside information.
Do you mean that even proper communication could not fix this?
Because I feel like in the past everything was fine. It’s only after he became busy with his job did things become like this.
Ask him why, if it's a common family custom showing respect, you never saw them kissing each other like that until very recently. And what his mother thinks about your relationship, given that they are so close and she sometimes acts like you are stealing him away from her.
I assume it's just a quick peck, the typical social greeting type? I mean, they aren't locking lips and making out, are they?
So many of my own friends and family members are lip-kissers that I really can't view it as a red flag per se. It really is more of a cultural thing, with no sexual overtones whatsoever. Adults kiss babies, grandmas kiss teenagers, big bearded men kiss other big bearded men. But if his mother happened to notice that you looked upset after you watched her kiss him that way the first time, I wouldn't put it past her to keep on doing it whenever you're around, just to get a rise out of you.
OTOH your concern that you are indirectly kissing his mother, if he kisses you shortly after kissing her? Sorry hon, that borders on crazy talk, and it won't help you at all to tell your BF that LOL. Just stick to your concern that his mother seems to consider you a rival for her son's love, and how he plans to deal with that tricky situation.