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1. Or for abusive relationships.

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2. This is what I read from your post.

   She is having a naked time at work and it's stressful with you both looking for a new place.

   Is she having issues with performance or not meeting expectations at work? Does she feel undervalued at work? Is she overworked? Are her deadlines not realistic but she makes them anyway?

   Why are you looking for a new place? Is the rent increasing too much? Do you need to move to a different area? Will the commute to work change? (longer commute?)

   Personally, my SO calling my job to get me time of is a HUGE no! You need to ask her if she feels that was okay, and not just her wanting to smooth things over. How does she REALLY feel about that?

   You talk about when you got there that she was in the middle of something. Her mind is on her job which you stated is a point of stress for her right now. You expected her to switch gears way too fast. Also, I would have gone into a full panic attack if my SO picks me up from work and then says they talked to my boss about giving me the day off! Oh heck no.

   This was likely why she was unable to really tell you when you pulled over why she was crying.

   You also state that you were angry she wasn't more appreciative of what you did for her, but what did you actually do for her? You surprised her with a spa day which is very nice, but in the middle of her work day. Why on earth didn't you schedule this for a day she has off and let her know that you would like to take X amount of time from her day off for a surprise. Let her decide. You didn't do that though, you took it upon yourself to ask for time off, which either she doesn't get paid for or will have to use her PTO for. Dude, next time think about how things impact her.

   You also mentioned that part of this was selfish on your part since you wanted a spa day. I'm going to be harsh here. The WHOLE surprise was selfish on your part.

   She is entitled to have her feelings, you don't get to dictate those or get upset when they don't match your expectations.

   You need to communicate better and think through your plans before you upend her day at work.

   Also, she doesn't have anything to apologize for. You do though and BIG time! This needs to be the mother of all apologies and be sincere.

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3. Each one of those things are absolutely a big deal. All together? Yikes.

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4. What are the fights with her family about?

   Her brother is being preferred over her in inheritance

   Is there a reason for her obesity? Like stress, abuse, depression?

   She's just lazy

   What are her goals and aspirations? What does she want?

   None. She failed in school

   Is there any way, you could be married on paper and work towards being a team, leaving the country, set both of you up to be functional on your own there and divorce in that country? If she also isn't keen on marrying (you), you might be able to make this into a very pragmatic married on paper, long term plan to be a doctor away from your oppressive family and country.

   She and her family are very keen on marrying me because they think I am the best groom they can get

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