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Room for on-line sex video chat Kia_tiya
Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 2002-05-05
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Date: October 28, 2022
If my man ever asks that of me after 6 years of being together, I'm just going to whisper 'Omlette du fromage'.
Not in recent years no (I lost a lot of friends when my parents divorced and again in COVID times). I also don't have a friend group but some meaningful relationships here and there. Could this have an effect?
“When we used to fight, he would reassure me and apologize (if it was his fault) and our arguments would only last about a day or so.”
I'm curious, how did you handle things when you fought? You've described his role and (former) resolution to fights. But not your own?
That said, its escalating. It sounds like he has been on edge for a while with divorce on the fringe of his mind. I wouldn't be surprised if he thought perhaps the change of scenery & job would improve something but it instead just made things worse, or if there is more tied to the relocation than he is comfortable sharing (like stress, a demotion or some sort of negative repercussion of something that happened at work).
Either way, this is not healthy or respectful communication and his reaction to an easily remedied missed electric bill for a place no one is even currently living in is way over the top. For some people, this could be a point to start marriage counseling. But personally… I'm of the mind that divorce is not something to throw out lightly. If this were my situation, even if I was amicable to the idea of counseling & reconciliation, and even if he were also and we started going to counseling… I'd still be consulting a lawyer just in case so I didn't get blind-sided.
When I went to college in the 1980s, all intramural sports and PE classes were open to both/all genders. Nowadays, I doubt you could find a single-sex martial arts class on any campus. Not sure why you think that’s weird, but it casts some doubt on the rest of your judgement. If you came into my house as a guest and said “women and men shouldn’t take martial arts classes together,” YOU would be the weirdo flying the red flags. Just sayin!
I always think the first plan you made takes priority. You have arranged to see him that weekend so yes I’d say it would be a bit crappy to now bail on those plans. Saying this, maybe your gf would enjoy time with her dad on her own, I know I do. Why don’t you tell her the ski date changed in a casual way and from her response you can gauge her thoughts?
She has a drinking problem and she’s abusive. For your own safety and well being you should leave.
So you're using Reddit as a last resort after all other options including therapy have failed? You must have a lot of faith in the Reddit.
The short answer is: it's not really possible to give you good advice for your situation without knowing the dynamics of the relationship (which would take a couple therapy sessions). In particular: what was it that attracted the two of you together, what are your triggers, what are her triggers and examples of how you have hurt her.
There are a couple of red flags that suggest the relationship will fail if things don't change. For example:
She said that she doesn't want to marry the person I am right now
This is a pretty big one. You are who you are. If she can't accept you for who you are, she is not ever going to accept you. It's also a clear sign that she is psychologically imbalanced in someone and using the relationship to compensate. But without details, I can't get more specific.
I'm scared shitless even thinking that this is the slow burn to us hating one another.
Another red flag. This one shows that you are also using the relationship to compensate for something that you should be giving yourself, from a psychological perspective. In short, healthy relationships are built by people who are not afraid to lose those relationships. People who are afraid to lose a relationship end up sabotaging the relationship out of fear.
Like most relationships, yours is likely a case of two unbalanced people who have been using each other to compensate for psychological needs that you have failed to provide yourselves. It's the classic case of demanding that your partner be the parent of your “inner child” instead of you assuming responsibility for this important task. You in particular need to look at what it is you think you are going to lose in the relationship, and why you think it is your partner's responsibility to give it to you.
I did see that being the common understanding in the comments. I added these points into the post. Thanks 🙂
How is “I love her so much” coexist with “I hate her look” and even better with “I know I can do better”?
This is not love. This is toxic relationship. Absolutely do not marry.
Tell the neighborhood chat! That’s great advice. Especially if there are a lot of women in it.
Was it really an attempt, or a sad little cry for help to manipulate his ex into giving in and capitulating to his selfish desires?
To be clear, I am NOT making fun of those that are truly so depressed that they think that that's the answer, I've been there myself, and was hospitalized for 2 weeks because of it. But I AM referring to those that are garbage enough to threaten to self harm in an attempt to manipulate their significant other into doing what they want, not leaving them, or whatever they decide they want. So selfish and disgusting to do that to people.
I’ve caught up with old flames before and it’s ALWAYS been a case of me telling whomever I’m currently with about it because it was just a harmless cup of coffee.
Nobody here has a clue if he did (or is planning on doing) anything wrong but the secrecy and dismissing your very valid concerns are a red flag for sure
Unfortunately doctors have a notorious reputation for a reason, in fact it’s the same reason men tell other men not to get involved with nurses.
This is a mixed bag. This is focused on you, because you’re the one here to read this.
So, you:
If you want to ask for the dogs being taken out right now or in five minutes, say so. We all have our own little schedules and time tables. Don’t ask for a favor and expect it to be on your timetable, even if it’s a reasonable time table. Don’t just “give feedback”, especially in the moment when there’s conflict. It will be met with defensiveness from just about anyone. Have a time of the week to discuss these things, or invite a conversation after you’ve had some time to process. Even if you’re facing unfair criticism, laughing at someone when they are attempting (poorly) to have a serious conversation with you will be viewed as condescending at best.
Some other notes:
Your partner and you view conflict differently. You compartmentalize, where X and Y are separate issues. Your partner views it all in the larger context of your relationship/dynamic. Neither is invalid.
Your partner needs to let past issues be in the past, but I would say both of you need to learn to let go of the petty, mundane, annoyances. She could be shit at taking care of the dogs forever: is it gonna be a dealbreaker for you or not? Equitably, for it to work, she would let go as well.
Given your poor communication, you really need to apply some structure to these conversations so that you can resolve issues less organically. In your case, organic doesn’t work. Just like how some couples can have organic and spontaneous sex every day and others need to schedule that once a week, unbreakable, date. Takes all kinds.