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Hey 🙂
Date: September 26, 2022
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Hey 🙂
Dahar man says you gotta leave and treat that trauma
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If your bf told you the same story, but the girl is the one spooning him and they're holding hand to keep warm in bed, would you think it's cheating?
Breathe It sounds like your being laid off and subsequent job search have put you in crisis mode. I’m not saying your bf is right, that’s not nearly the most important part of this.
I’m going to talk about mental health. I’m not gaslighting you or suggesting this is all about you. I’m just identifying some thought patterns I’ve experienced myself and how they made me view the world.
Have you been treated for anxiety? Losing your job is legitimately a traumatic event and the feelings you describe seem much more like PRSD than a relationship problem. I know this might sound incredibly patronizing but it really can help to talk to a general practitioner and get some Zoloft or something.
Back to the topic… is your boyfriend’s behavior different than before you were laid off? It doesn’t sound like it. Did his outlook on life bother you this much before you were laid off?
Try this, tell him, “I know that you’re trying to give me the support you think I need instead of the support you think I want, but for a little while at least, I need you to give me the support you think I want.”
That's Lily Allen's song! “There's just one thing That's getting in the way When we go up to bed You're just no good It's such a shame…”
Trust me, you and your child do not deserve this. You may be thinking that you can handle this now and you’ll just power through it, but trust me these kind of people will break you down to nothing. I was eight when my mother tried to run away for the first time. I had to run down an alleyway, barefoot, screaming mum come back It’s not worth it. Even if you’re able to get through all of this. They will know it’s a forced marriage and they will not be okay. Please leave now I’m begging you.
I guess what im asking for is for ways to cope with what im feeling.
Stop looking at his facebook page. Problem solved.
Dude grow some self respect and get out. Someone who sees man as trophies and make a list of it is not someone meant to be in a serious relationship. And the fact of the matter is… she cheated. Stop thinking with the wrong head.
She could have made him wear a condom.
21 is young, it’s young asf. I’m 24 and I still struggle to identify manipulation, set boundaries and still rely on my mom. And I have a naked time imagining that doesn’t change sometime between 21 and 36. Those are incredibly formative years. At 21 you’re in college living with 18 year olds and at 36 you’re hanging out with grown adults. My answer would absolutely be the same because a 21 year old is damn near a child in comparison to a 36 year old, regardless of gender. Y’all are so twisted hating women and cheating you don’t see abuse for abuse. Cheating is always wrong, point blank. But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t also a power imbalance that led to abusive and controlling behavior.