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KingAndQueenTaco, y.o.
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Date: January 8, 2023
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What does this have to do with OP's problem?
Does she get paid if she goes there? This is like a scholarship so she'll get paid enough to online.
You should be clear you won't be sending her money and that she should get a job to have savings to spend there. If she already applied, I don't understand why she cannot get a part-time job. She could even do tutoring classes on the side.
Fun fact: threesomes existed before porn
No
Don't win him back, you're incompativle.
Find someone that shares your love for Disney
I'm going to elaborate on everything in the most civil way possible in order to help you understand reality, but you need to understand that you sound awful because you're in fact awful (I will get into how shitty your husband is I promise you).
You've been together since you were 17 and 16. You say he was awesome at the beginning. But what does that mean? You say “lately” but that has to be dishonest term; “lately” would indicate recent actions. So how long was everything “awesome?” At what point did he start crossing your boundaries, and separately (because the prior assertion is huge and should be discussed on its own) become distant?
Everything after that is a lot of fluff, including your ex coming back, which isn't nothing, but big picture it seems to be just another symptom of a much larger problem that's always existed. In saying that, did all of this horrible shit start after you got married, or did it start while you were dating and you forced a relationship and marriage regardless? You'll have to let us know.
Big picture, you're learning why just about everyone advises not to rush into serious relationships and/or marriage when you're young. Now, in your defense, most people don't elaborate, and when they do, are just projecting and aren't actually giving advice so much as telling you how they feel based on their anecdotes.
Here's where I come in. As it relates to your husband, are you compatible? Are there red flags you've brushed off? Are there issues that haven't been addressed? Given everything, I think I can safely assume that one or more of these questions would be answered in the negative. In saying that, that's what you need to focus on. This isn't about choosing your husband or his best friend (which is obviously fucked up on its own, but that's more the friend's problem than yours); it's about acknowledging that you're in an unhealthy relationship and marriage and have been for quite some time.
That makes the friend irrelevant. If you're in a bad marriage, talk to a lawyer and get divorced. You don't make that decision based on whether or not you have another opportunity. Everything else proves that point. You questioning your marriage means your marriage isn't right. You questioning your feelings with the friend means they're not right.
You're worried the friend is gonna “flip?” Dating is the process of getting to know someone to see if you're a fit and you're compatible. If you learn you're in a situation where you're objectively right with someone, things will almost always lead to a healthy relationship. If, however, you learn that things aren't right, you either address them or acknowledge it's time to end the relationship. With your husband, you've known things aren't right, but got married regardless. Why would you assume things would just magically change?
While I'm now not suggesting you pursue the friend, especially given the fact you're questioning it, you need to base your fear of him “flipping” on reality; are things good with him? Are you compatible? Are there red flags? Are there issues? If there are, you can be all but guaranteed it's going to fail. That's what you continue to ignore. Stop rushing relationships.
What's the upside for your boyfriend?
Do you two plan on having any more kids?