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Kirra, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 27, 2022
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Sounds like the the moment you're just trying to 'white knuckle' this – e.g. simply just trying your best to do differently.
What you might consider is whether there are discreet changes you can make to manage this – e.g. if he's cooking do you sit in another room?
It's a bit difficult to provide examples because I don't know that sorts of tasks or activities are prompting this – if you're unable to manage you might actually have to consider living apart until you sort your shit out because at the moment you're mistreating your partner then acting like the hurt party and keeping his comfort – this is a very bad dynamic.
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Not helpful at all, but thanks for trying I guess lol
Therapy is a fantastic way to work through this, I think that’s a great idea
Call the cops now. Don't stay at home, can you stay with a girlfriend or your parents house?
I think there’s a non trivial chance she’s been acting on her homosexuality behind his back this whole time. All these “lunches” with friends that take priority over her husband/family.
I'd want to know, wouldn't you?
Honestly I'd even get proof for him for his divorce but that's just me, cheating is just that bad to me.
Literally every sentence made me wonder why in the hell OP is still with that guy.
You're one of the worst human beings I've ever had the displeasure of reading about.
Did you already know the bouncer beforehand?
Listen to him. He’s right and very mature for his age. It’s best for you to blindly follow him and don’t reach out to him anymore.
He's just not that into you. Put yourself in his shoes, what would cause you to change your texting habits?
I understand that pain. However I am going to be blunt with you: on reflection doesn't it strike you that perhaps he was never actually worthy of that trust? Like as I noted originally, he was coming off over a decade alone, right? That can't have meant nothing and if you learn anything from all this then it is the reality that love doesn't cure trauma. It can help you overlook it for a while, which is what happened to him, but he was still bleeding out. And yeah, a lot of what he said was likely only partially true or maybe he believed it but couldn't follow through.
But that doesn't make you unlovable. If anything you proved the opposite. Your love broke him out of his hiding space. Unfortunately the reality is that worked against you, but it shows he did care he was just too broken.
Huh, cross posting, at least this time you seem aware you screwed up.
Start by doing some research on depression and ADHD and stop assuming you know why someone is doing something.
Follow up by apologizing and saying you didn't understand, but you are trying to do better.
Then actually stop being a lousy friend, and do better.
Unfortunately in today's bipartisan climate, morals and politics often overlap. Ignoring it and hoping that the problem just never arises is negligent at best and just plain ignorant and foolish at worst.