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  1. I had a sexual assault experience very young that kept me from being able to certain things.

    As much as it was disappointing to my husband, he was patient and loving and kind, and never brought it up. He wouldn’t even talk about it when we talked about fantasies, because he knew it wouldn’t matter. Never pressured me, never made any attempts at it. He accepted that loving me meant a life without that specific thing.

    That allowed me to trust him enough to open up in that way, and I was able to heal through the trauma because of a good therapist and a partner who allowed me the space I needed. I’m actually able to do those things and enjoy it with him, when the thought of those acts used to send me into a complete shut down/panic attack.

    You are not too sensitive. Your boyfriend doesnt care about you. At least, not in a way that matters. I had a boyfriend like that at your age. He complained to me that I couldn’t do those things. Even after I told him why. This guy never cared about me and just wanted to have fun for a bit.

    You deserve someone who sees you the way my husband sees me — a partner and friend to love and cherish and respect, not someone to kill time with.

  2. Hello /u/ThrowRA_alexandra,

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  3. Hello /u/NoLifeNoLimits,

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  4. THIS. This is so similar to how I feel right now. He’s very apologetic, saying he’ll leave all of his friends behind, that he doesn’t want to be part of the problem, and that he’ll change. But I’m tired. I’m tired of constantly having these conversations, of trying to educate a grown man. I’m tired of having to explain why certain comments are unacceptable, why stereotypes are wrong, why “jokes” at the expense of minorities are not funny. I’m tired of trying to teach a cis white able-bodied straight man that he has unprecedented privilege, and that he needs to be aware of it.

    Most of all, I’m tired that when we have these conversations, he literally says “I’m a good person”. Makes me feel like screaming, throwing up and running away simultaneously. What good person has ever said that.

  5. Calling me princess is not the insult you think it is and the term dude might have been gendered in the past, like 60+ years ago past, but it’s now widely accepted to be a gender neutral term. Touch grass.

    I realise that I cannot force her to see it the way I see it and with hormones being in the midst it is just a difficult situation all around.

    Sorry, where in there does he say, “I haven’t got the foggiest what’s going on with her. Women and their hormones, amirite?”

  6. It sounds like your GF may have a drinking problem. Drinking to the point of vomiting is a problem. It’s time to be honest. “I am no longer interested in getting absolutely wasted every weekend. I cannot baby sit you while you get drunk at every outing. It is not fun for me so I am going to stop.”

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