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Date: October 4, 2022
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Find a better boyfriend. He sounds terrible
I have an iPhone. I’ve never had a message automatically delete. If my memory fills up my phone gives me an option to delete messages but it starts at old ones, not randomly selected from one person.
Lmao this is a dumb question. You just made me feel better about myself. Thank you
Embarrassment makes people laugh. It seems that its the elephant in the room if we are to believe OP, so it seems not unreasonable that she would be embarrassed, relieved, weirded out that they were finally talking about it. Not a in a bad way, just in a taken by surprise way.
This is a slippery slope and if you actually want your relationship with the new BF to succeed, but off contact with the ex. Any engagement is a risk.
6 months is the honeymoon period. Basically no big issues should be present if there’s a good foundation. All this guy is is one big issue. Block him cuz I doubt he’ll take the breakup gracefully
It’s definitely weird given the context.
I explained in another comment, but he shouldn’t confront her with something she could easily explain with “I can take whatever pictures I want and don’t have to send them to you”. She could focus on that to shit him down. OP needs to confront her with the major issues, like why she seems to be ok with a friend stealing her pics.
He never gave me an allowance. It was a spoiling relationship
I would start doing the same thing to him he would stop it fast
Do you think it's worth finding out?
Violence escalates. Ask any DV survivor. They ignored the first time, and it got worse and worse and worse. Many only make it out in an ambulance and some in a body bag. It's just the truth.
He is not safe for your or your babies.
Call the domestic violence hotline, they can give you way more info and resources to safely get out NOW.
They’re agreeing with you.
You can have most phones search through their entire memory to find photos and videos. Also, such things can be stored on a removable storage or on a cloud. I emailed files to myself for safekeeping.
If he wants to have those photos, he still does, just in a place you can't find.
Find some adoptive/foster parent subs.
Take things slowly. You don't know this child and she doesn't know you. Start with visiting her and spending time with her, if time allows, and gradually transition into over nights and weekends.
Don't rush things. Adopted and foster kids will tell you one of the big problems is their new parents pushing the, “bog happy family, mom and dad,” thing.
Don't overwhelm her with big fancy things like trips and shopping sprees. Do quiet thongs together. Remember she will, likely, be overwhelmed herself. She is leaving the only home she knows.
Talk to her. Find out what she likes, who her friends are, etc.
When it comes to her staying at your house, let her make her room her space.
No matter what a mess her mother may be NEVER speak badly about her mother. Answer any questions as honestly as humanly possible with answers that are on her age level. Don't be afraid to tell her, “I don't know.”
Please help her maintain a relationship with her maternal family. Even if it's phone calls and FaceTime. Her grandma is the only parent she has ever known.
You are living like a child. Your girlfriend needs to run far and fast from you.
Yes, it would be better to keep looking!
I feel like this is a short-term therapy kind of question, or even just a counselor. Don’t break up with her, go work on your hangups. Figure out what you want for your future. She wants to move in and get married, but why do you NOT want that? It may be as simple as you just don’t, or it may be repressed ideas of what you thought you would be before now.
I say don’t break up. Tell her you love her, and that you wanna figure yourself out, and do that.